God Modding
by Shironami Kane
Summary: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world
1. The Unforeseen Complications of Sealing

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

Note: This story contains a character who holds onto strong christian beliefs. This character is not a "go to church on Sunday because its mainstream in America" person. If you find people who hold strongly to their beliefs no matter what outsiders might think offensive you shouldn't be reading a story starring Hidan as a main character anyway, much less complain to _me_ about "not being open minded" and "being politically incorrect". You have been forewarned. Please review/flame about things other than the character's religious beliefs. Thanks!

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Chapter One - The Unforeseen Complications of Sealing Tailed Beasts

"Hey Master Sasori," Deidara spoke as he and his partner approached the hidden cave with Gaara being carried behind him by one of his sculptures.

"What is it, Deidara?"

"Who built that big statue that we're sealing the tailed beasts inside anyway, hm?" The question had been building up in his mind ever since he had seen it and Deidara couldn't help but wonder about it. That and question internally how they were even sure it would work properly if the one-tailed demon was the first demon to actually be sealed up.

"That's classified information," Sasori replied causing Deidara to swear angrily.

"_You_ probably don't even know. How do we know the thing even works in the first place, hm? For all we know something will go wrong and the one-tailed beast will just break out of the statue and ransack everyone unfortunate enough to be around, hm."

Sasori shook his head irritably and sarcastically commented, "Or maybe the floodgates of hell will be opened and an entire legion of demons will be unleashed? I myself have inspected the statue and there is nothing that will go wrong with the sealing, it's the same as reverse sealing summons, only in a statue instead of a scroll. So stop being a moron and pick up the pace brat. We're late enough as it is."

Soon enough they were standing in the midst of the other Akatsuki members ready and waiting to seal away the tailed beast. And everything went smoothly during the stealing and sealing of Shukaku the tailed beast within Gaara with the exception of the teams of Konoha ninja's two days into the ritual.

At least in the physical realm things were going smoothly, what the Akatsuki did not know though was their sealing ritual had opened up a very noticeable rift in dimensions and while in the original Naruto universe this rift simply opened up into a nearly identical world in this spin of the tale the rift opened into a larger universe. The universe it opened into was the real one where all the universes created by the imaginations of humans came from.

In the real world a young woman sat in her mother's living room watching her younger brother maliciously fight against fiends in his Ninja Gaiden video game. With a frown she spoke up, "You know mom doesn't like you playing games like that."

Her brother shrugged indifferently allowing the tv screen to reflect off of his glasses, "Hey its either this or you playing against me in Halo but we all know how much you suck at that game."

The woman stood up from the couch and stretched her arms in a yawn before speaking out loud, "Well video games are bad for cognitive development anyway, give me a book any day over tv or video games. I'm going to the kitchen, is there anything you want me to bring back for you?"

Her brother nodded and said, "A pepsi and the bag of frietos in the cupboard. Thanks."

"No prob." The woman walked trough the doorway of the kitchen and walked over to the fridge. She opened it up and peered through her glasses at the interior trying to decide what she wanted to munch on. With a slight grunt she took out a gallon of milk and walked over to the cupboard to pull out a box of frosted flakes. _'The midday snack for champions._' The woman mused as she poured herself a bowl of cereal to eat.

"Ashley!"

The loud voice of her mother interrupted her from pouring milk into her bowl and she looked over her shoulder and shouted back "Yeah mom! What is it?"

"Could you run out to the corner store for me and get some bug spray? I'm all out of it and I need to get a bunch of spiders in these closets!"

"Sure! I'll be back in five minutes!" Ashley replied and left her cereal on the table. She grabbed her car keys of the counter and walked out the front door to her car.

Ashley drove down the road musing to herself about her brother and family when out of the corner of her eye she spotted a teenage redhead walk listlessly in front of her car. She hear a thump and slammed on her brakes. "Ohnonononono!"

Panicking Ashley stepped out of her car and ran to the front, looking for any sign of the kid she was sure she had hit. There he was about three feet away just lying there. "Oh crud!" Ashley shouted and ran towards him as she dialed 9-1-1 on her cell phone, "Socorro emergency center, how can I help you?"

Ashlen knelt down next to the boy and looked him over while she hastily replied, "Yeah, I hit a kid who walked out into the street, send an ambulance or something, he's not moving! I'm at the intersection of Hefner and Main-"

There was a sudden blaring sound and Ashley looked up in horror as the front end of a truck entered her view and there was an excruciating blunt pain before there was suddenly just white. It was so beautiful and peaceful there in the light as if all the worries of her life on earth where slowly slipping away, she realized she could be dieing and with a smile she gratefully accepted it, "I'm going home now, aren't I?"

"_No Ashley,_" Tears nearly sprang into her eyes as she heard his voice. It was soothing and gentle but Ashley shook at the power behind the words. This was God, the creator of everything in the universe and here she was a lowly human, only worth something because of her strongly held faith in his son. He was perfect she knew and she however 'goody' her classmates at the New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology thought she was she was truly vile.

"_You will live Ashley but not as you have previously._" Ashley felt very confused. She was sure after death she would simply spend the rest of her time with God in heaven. Was this not true death but one of those out of body experiences she had heard about?

"_I am sending you as my messenger to a realm that _the adversary_ had unleashed. Know that the people there are now as real as you are and that they all have true souls now. I know as my prophet in this new world you will do great things. Live a good life, preach constantly and if necessary use words to do it._"

"I will do anything you want me to do Lord God," Ashley replied with a smile and then she blinked. She was standing in a forest and it was a beautiful sunny afternoon. Ashley looked around at the natural beauty she was surrounded in before she glanced down at herself. She looked the same as before but somehow she felt different. Tanned skin? Check. Shoulder long black hair? Check. Dark green eyes? Well she couldn't 'check' that but suddenly it hit her.

She was seeing in vibrant full detail without her glasses. Apparently that was the difference and without actually imagining that a face to face encounter with God could change anything else about her set off into the world, feeling passionate with a holy fire fueling her steps. She was on a mission to be a witness to the godless people of this world and no force no matter if it be benevolent or evil was going to stand in her way.

In the final hour of the sealing ceremony somewhere miles away Hidan suddenly sneezed.

End Chapter One

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Well please review. Remember please no flames for my portrayal of God or Ashley in regards to her faith please/thanks.


	2. First Encounters of The Divine Kind

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Two - First Encounters of The Divine Kind

If there was one thing Hidan seemed to love more than his god it was complaining, Kakuzu mused. If it was raining Hidan complained about getting muddy, if it was sunny he would complain about it being too hot, dry air made his skin chap and humidity made his hair frizzy and unmanageable. The complaining had become a background noise easily ignored by Kakuzu much like the wind or buzzing insects. Hidan and Kakuzu had a month of time before they were supposed to catch the two-tailed beast and Kakuzu was spending his time searching for bounties. Hidan tagged along because he wasn't trusted by the leader to be alone for longer than a day.

Right now they were in Grass Country and Kakuzu was searching for a jounin who was wanted by the Rock Village. His name was Roku and he apparently pissed off the Iwakage who was offering a 2,000,000 ryo bounty for bringing in his severed head. The rule of thumb was as long as you collect bounties make sure you never collected them for the village you where exiled from so for Kakuzu that meant no Waterfall bounties. Not that he cared, Waterfall rarely had bounties higher than 100,000 ryo and Kakuzu didn't even blink at taking a bounty worth anything less than 500,000.

The thing with Roku though was that he was employed constantly to spy on several civilian villages which meant things might get sticky if he was staying in a populated village. He and Hidan walked down the road towards a village with thatch roofed huts with Hidan complaining about the grass floating in the air that was giving him watery eyes.

Outside the village was a rather large gathering of children surrounding a woman who was speaking gently to them. As they passed her words carried over to them on the air, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and you must love your neighbor as yourself."

Kakuzu snorted and walked on his way but Hidan had stopped completely at the mention of God and stood quietly listening to the woman's talking.

A little girl raised his hand and asked, "I have a neighbor named Suzuka but who else is considered a neighbor Master Ashley?"

The woman, Ashley, Hidan noted smiled and replied, "It is like this story. There was a man who was on his way from The Land of Fire to The Land of Water. However on his way there he was robbed and beaten and left half dead by the roadside.

First a priest came by, and when he saw the wounded man on the road, he passed by on the other side. Next a doctor came and he, too, looked at the hopeless man and passed by on the other side of the road. Then a missing-ninja came along. He took pity on the man and took care of him and then carried him and took him to an inn to stay until he was well. The missing-ninja paid for everything food, lodging and medical attention. So let me ask you, which of the three men was a neighbor to the traveler?"

The little girl smiled in understanding and replied, "It was the missing ninja who helped him."

"So then, go and do likewise."

Hidan rolled his eyes, Jashin what was this woman teaching these kids? They'd all grow up to be pansys and get slaughtered if they listened to her teachings.

"Maki is always mean to me and always likes to beat me up, shouldn't I be able to do the same to him?" A young boy about the age of ten asked.

"Well God has said do not repay anyone evil for evil. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay." On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Finally Hidan had had enough of listening to her with a growl he said, "How can you say these things to these brats, you are spreading lies you despicable whore."

All the kids started and turned their heads to look over at Hidan who was scowling furiously at the seated woman.

"I am not lying," Ashley replied as she stood up, "I have been sent as a prophet of God to these lands and I am teaching so when God calls to them they will understand and open their hearts to his service."

"My God Jashin is just as real as your god but I don't go around warping peoples minds. The only way that people understand and can be cleansed of their sins is by showing them the pain they put you through."

Ashley raised an eyebrow but smiled, "So you believe the teaching that is if anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured. Is that it?"

Hidan nodded, "Exactly, you see my point then, don't fucking turn these little kids into pansys that'll just take a beating if someone attacks them!"

"Violence begets violence though," she said with a cheeky grin, "You punch your kid brother then he turns around and kicks you in the stomach. Before you know it you're brawling in the family room until someone accidentally knocks over a lamp that sets fire to your living room before it engulfs your house as well as your entire neighborhood. And after that you have to move because every time you walk down the street someone is reminding you how you ruined Christmas for everyone by making everybody in the area homeless."

Hidan began to howl with laughter at the story but the kids seemed to get the picture in a bigger way. One high ranking ninja kills another and before you know it war is spreading across the land.

Ashley looked over the kids and smiled, "Do any more of you have questions?"

A girl sitting next to the girl who asked about neighbors raised her hand and said, "You told us that even though God gives us impossible laws to obey we should still listen to them, why should we?"

"God's law was never meant to save humanity but to prove to humanity that we are imperfect creatures and we need his help to reach his standard."

Hidan had stopped laughing and out of morbid curiosity shouted a question, "What are your god's laws then?"

"Well the highest commandments as I've said earlier are to love God with all your heart, mind and power and to love your neighbor as yourself. But there are always the ten commandments. You shall have no other gods before Him. You shall not make for yourself a carved image to worship. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Honor your father and your mother. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor and you shall not covet."

Hidan snorted at her list and shook his head as the kids began to get curious again.

"What's a sabbath?" one boy asked.

"It's a day of rest. Since God created the entire universe and everything in it in six days but rested on the seventh we should follow his example. God has our best interests if you never rest and work every day you will die early from overwork and stress related illnesses."

"What does covet mean?" another asked

"That means don't be jealous of other people's stuff. You might think they have a better house or more money than you do but greed is a never ending spiral. You'll always want more and more until even though you have all the riches and glory in the world it still won't be enough to satisfy your greed."

Hidan laughed at the quite accurate description of his partner, who had been strangely quiet throughout Ashley's various teachings, "Ha, you hear that Kakuzu, you greedy bastar- Hey where'd you go!? That godless greedy heathen left me behind! Later, misguided whore, stop teaching that ridiculous shit to kids, if I see you again I'll educate you and you'll see the light of Jashin's glory!"

Hiden's shouts continued about Jashin and the horrors of man until he vanished completely in off in the distance through the village. "Hey Master Ashley, was that guy a demon or just a lunatic?" a boy asked.

Ashley just shook her head, "Some people will never see the truth of God because they have to admit that they aren't good people or because they don't know. Don't judge people though, God loves everybody but there are some people who just really hate him and all he teaches."

Hidan cached up to Kakuzu about ten minutes later and immediately began talking to him, "Can you believe some people these days Kakuzu? I mean people just letting their little fucking kids sit around listening to some lunatic talk about God? And what's with that chick? Her God doesn't even have a proper name unlike Jashin-sama. I mean what the fuck? Don't you hate it when people go on and on about things you know are crap? Man I hate Grass Country my eyes are getting all itchy again. How the fuck can that lady just sit in a grass patch all day and talk? It'd be hell on earth for me, seriously! And you, why the fuck did you leave me behind I know you don't care about being partners but for Jashin's sake if you don't-"

Kakuzu tilted his head and tried to fight his newly regrowing migraine. So that's why his blood pressure had gone down for awhile, Hidan hadn't been around. Maybe the next time they passed a religious lunatic Hidan would leave him alone for an hour. That might prove that there was actually a god out there who was merciful to people who had to deal with Hidan all day.

End Chapter Two

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So once again, please review!


	3. No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Three - No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

After two weeks in the strange new world she was summoned by God into Ashley was growing slightly anxious and just a little bit lonely. She had taken to being a traveling messenger of sorts and had met many strange but interesting people. A lot of villages allowed her entrance as long as she didn't cause trouble but she had been kicked out of two villages for being "a spy" and three others for "being a raving lunatic."

At least no one had attacked her or anything. It was difficult living in a world where she was the one with the most knowledge of God in. In her old life she had been going to collage to be a high school science teacher and even though she had a lot of knowledge about God and her faith she didn't have a complete understanding of it. She had only read through the Bible maybe twice in her life and mostly fell back on memory verses and lessons that she miraculously could remember. She felt very fortunate so far. Whenever someone had a question she didn't have an answer to she would feel the spirit of God within her supply her with the answers she needed.

It was evening and since she wasn't anywhere around a town she had begun to set up a makeshift camp, recalling midnight adventures with her brother as they spent their summers camping in the Colorado Rockies. It had been the worst month of her life when her father had signed them both up for Wilderness Survival Camp. But now she was grateful that she knew how to start fires without matches and how to catch fish without lines.

Her campsite was a ways away from the shallow river where she had set up a fish corral and with a groan as she stretched she walked away from her camp to check for dinner. There was only one fish in the pen but it was enough to feed herself for dinner so she quickly caught it and disassembled her corral before heading back to her campsite. When she got there two men were sitting by the fire, settling in as though they intended to stay no matter what the current occupant wanted.

They were wearing long black cloakish coats with stylized red clouds emblazoned on them, one was wearing a head covering and the other had silver hair and a three bladed scythe strapped to his back. Ashley remembered the man from about a week and a half ago. He had passed by and heckled her in front of several kids she had been teaching.

So she simply sat across the fire from them and calmly began to clean her fish. She smiled over at him and simply nodded her head in greeting and said, "Good to see you again. How are you doing?"

The other man looked over and gruffly asked, "You know this woman, Hidan?"

Hidan animatedly shook his head, "Hell no, I think I would remember someone who looked so foreign- wait, now I remember, you're that chick with the peace god I saw a while ago! How goes the corruption of souls whore?"

The insults stung but Ashley didn't let them bother her, she was bound to run into problems in this world.

Hidan had gotten worked up at the sight of her nonchalance though and continued to egg her, "Jashin is a true god of power you know. He grants me immortality to carry out his will so I can completely annihilate the godless heathens of this world. At least you're not completely godless though. But you are misguided since my god's the bomb and yours does what? Probably nothing but blesses babies and saves kittens or some shit."

Ashley frowned, he could insult her all she wanted but the instant he insulted _her_ God the line had been stepped over. With all the righteous anger she could muster she growled, "He is the God of Gods who created the entire universe and everything in heaven, earth and hell is under his dominion. He is the maker of humanity and all who reject him will have their _immortal_ _souls_ cast into hell for eternity because they chose to be his enemy rather than his follower."

Hidan growled back and reached for his scythe, "I'm going to give you a demonstration of my lord Jashin's glorious teachings for being such a misguided heathen. I will kill you bitch!"

Fearlessly she leaned over the fire to gaze confidentially at him and said, "Go ahead and kill me then, if I die God will just bring another messenger to these lands. If it's God's will that I die here it will be so but if it His will that his word is spread it will happen no matter who tries to stand in his way."

With a howl of rage Hidan swung out his scythe with enough force and at such close range he would likely lob her head off rather than nick her. Unfortunately for Hidan he missed her completely. There was a crash and Hidan fell over from his scythe ricocheting off a tree and bluntly into his forehead.

Ashley let out a giggle and said, "I suppose God doesn't want me dead quite yet. Now do you mind telling me what your problem is? You weren't this ballistic the last time we met."

The answer came in the sound a low growling that filled the campsite. Kakuzu shook his head, embarrassed at the sound of Hidan's grumbling stomach. The two hadn't stopped to eat in three days but Kakuzu had a higher tolerance for hunger pains then Hidan did.

"If you were hungry you could have told me so. I'll share my food with you if you're hungry." Ashley said gesturing to the fish she had speared onto a sharpened stick. She looked at Kakuzu and grinned, "I'll share with you if you're hungry too."

Kakuzu stared balefully at the fish on the stick before saying, "You only have one fish."

A twinkle entered Ashley's eyes and she said, "God will provide." And then she gave a quick prayer before beginning to cook the fish. Hidan silently glowered into the fire, listening to the silent signal from Kakuzu to not kill the girl until a later day. A few minutes later the fish came piping hot out of the fire and Ashley carefully pulled some meat off the bones and moved to sit between the two men.

Ashley moved the stick so the fish could easily be reached by both of the men and said, "Here, just pull the meat off. We'll all eat until we're finished."

The two nodded and began to eat. It wasn't until after five minutes of continuous eating that both Hidan and Kakuzu noticed something was a little weird. For one there was still fish left and for another it seemed like there wasn't any less fish from when they had started. Ashley was absolutely beaming and internally she prayed thanking and praising God for working through her to feed all three of them.

As they ate Kakuzu and Hidan's thoughts tried not to focus on the impossible thing that was happening but it wasn't really working very well. Kakuzu tried to brush it off as a weird genjutsu even though it was completely obvious that the woman next to him never had a day of ninja training in her life. Hidan was panicking at the though that her god might be as real as his was. Jashin was the God of Death and Kami was the God of Life. There couldn't be other gods that were worshiped in the world. The thought that there could be a God as powerful as the little priestess had bragged about was worrisome. Seriously, a sovereign God over all heaven hell and earth? It couldn't be possible.

An hour later Hidan had gorged himself to the point of almost getting sick and Kakuzu was completely stuffed as well. Ashley wrapped the leftovers to keep it fresh and divided it equally into three portions before handing Kakuzu and Hidan each a share. There had to be at least two pounds of fish for each of them. Ashley smiled and said, "You two can take this with you so if you get hungry later you'll have something to eat."

"How did you do that?" Kakuzu asked. Oh the expenses he could save if he only had to buy a loaf of bread and have it last him a month.

Ashley smiled and said, "It was not of my own power but that of my God's. He has control over all his creation so of course making more fish isn't impossible for him."

Hidan wasn't sure Kakuzu could feel it but now that he was paying close attention to her there was something about her that made his skin crawl. There was an unearthly power radiating off her, more vast and as commanding as the power of a person with a sealed beast within them but the power was holy and frightening, not malicious and destructive. '_Is it even possible'_ Hidan wondered, '_That a god could be sealed into a human in a way that a tailed beast was?_'

As he left with Kakuzu to continue their travels he promised himself that the next time he met the woman, he would unleash all the powers of an immortal Jashinist priest on her to reveal the true abilities of a possible god sealed sacrifice.

End Chapter Three

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So once again, please review!


	4. Like a Lamb To The Slaughter

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Four - Like a Lamb To The Slaughter

For Ashley the following three weeks came and went like the flow of water. She felt more energized since sharing a meal with the two weird travelers and when she walked down the road there was now a noticeable spring in her step. Best of all in the weeks since then she had actually seen God enter the lives of several villagers and she had baptized them. She promised she would begin to write down teachings and have them sent to villages where new believers where being reborn every day. She even had a constant companion now.

A teenage tailor named Momoko had left her family of three brothers and four sisters to follow and help Ashley in her travels while her brothers and sisters stayed back in their home village. Momoko had even made and given Ashley new clothes since she had been wearing the same skirt and shirt since she had arrived in the new world. She now wore a predominantly red dress with a white collar and white crosses emblazoned on her sleeves.

The two were walking side by side down a wide road in Fire Country enjoying the beautiful clouds in the sky and the presence of each others company. Momoko was currently trying to get Ashley to tell her more about her old world. "Tell me about New York City again please!"

Ashley nodded and said, "In an area on the upper eastern coast of my country there is a large city with hundreds of buildings made out of glass and steel. These buildings can reach up to ninety stories tall and are several thousand feet high into the air. The city is a place filled with stage production, business moguls and broadcasting stations. There are more than eight million people who live there."

Momoko was in awe as she responded, "I don't think there are even eight million people in all the countries of the Element Nations. Let alone a city or a town."

"My hometown is much smaller, there are about eight thousand people living there." Ashley explained.

"I think only eight thousand people live in Wave _Country_. What is the smallest town you've ever been to?" Momoko asked.

"I've visited my Nana a few times and she lives in a town called Glenwood that has a population of about two hundred people." Ashley said with a grin.

The two where coming up to a large wide building on the side of the road and Momoko gave a sigh of relief, "Oh thank goodness, a public restroom. I thought I was going to have to go in the woods again. Wait here please Ashley-sensei, I'll be right out."

Ashley nodded and waved her hand, "Go right ahead, I'll wait right here for you."

Momoko nodded and rushed into the bathroom while Ashley settled down to sit on the bottom of the stairway leading up to the building. For a few minutes she sat gazing peacefully up at the sky until she heard the step of a person standing behind her, "That was really fast."

When Ashley turned to look though it wasn't Momoko standing behind her but a deviously grinning Hidan, "Oh! Hello there, angel-bitch. How have you been doing?"

Ashley shook her head at Hidan's mocking nickname of her but replied, "I've been doing well these past few weeks actually. Thank you for asking, how about you?"

"I've been waiting to see you again," Hidan said with a nearly delirious grin, "Oh how fortunate for you. I've decided since you showed me a glimpse of your god's powers it would only be fair to show you the powers of _my god._"

Ashley didn't get a chance to reply before Hidan suddenly threw his scythe at her barely giving her the chance to fall flat on the ground to avoid the dangerous projectile. As she sat up though Hidan maneuvered the rope of his scythe and the bladed weapon made a whipping sound in the air as it changed direction to come back to his hand, nicking Ashley on the side of her neck as it did. Kakuzu was right for once Hidan noted, this girl didn't have a day of ninja training in her life. Such a sacrifice was almost going to be worthless in the eyes of Jashin.

With the blood he needed on his scythe he decided to delay a bit to find out more about the girl's god before she died. He had plenty of time not to mention he needed to form the holy symbol on the ground, "So why do you follow that god of yours so passionately? What does your god promise you that supposedly coming to a new world and dying would be worth."

Ashley held her hand to her bleeding neck to lessen the flow of blood as she replied, "Because he is a perfect God who demands perfection and with his gift of salvation from sin even though I am the utmost of sinners I can be with him in paradise."

"And how did you receive this so called salvation from sin?" Hidan replied mockingly.

There it was again, Hidan noted, the feeling of immense power flowing from her as she replied with a smile, "Because the price of salvation for sinners was his beloved Son's murder and resurrection back to life after he lived a perfect human life. Because of my God's resurrection he conquered death and so the sting of death has been lifted away from his followers."

Hidan gave her an almost reverent smile as he said, "Well then I will continue my demonstration knowing that death will make you happy."

There was another sound of a foot hitting the floor and Hidan spoke as he turned around, "Hold on a second Kakuzu I'm dealing with this-"

His speech however was cut off as he leaped back to avoid several shiruken thrown by a dark haired ninja with a beard. He deflected them with his scythe and once the ninja had dodged the projectiles Hidan aimed his scythe at the ninja. Once he had given an opening though two other ninjas came at him from either side while he was trapped within the shadow of a fourth ninja up on the roof of the building.

"Now!" And while Ashley looked on in horror the two ninjas ran Hidan threw with the two swords in their hands.

"One down," the bearded ninja said.

"Oh God help him, please don't be dead," Ashley stammered in shock as she stared at Hidan in fear for his well being as her acquaintance just stood there doubly impaled. However what happened next put both her and the ninjas into shock.

"Ow. That freaking hurt what the hell's your problem?" Hidan grimaced to the two new arrivals before giving Ashley a cheeky grin, "Aw, did you worry about me angel-bitch? That's fucking sweet of you considering I'm aiming to kill you."

"What's going on? We hit his vital organs!" One of the two ninjas questioned in astonishment.

"Stop shaking, dammit. That makes it hurt like a bastard." Hidan whined as he glared at the two ninjas next to him.

"W-what's with this guy, is he immortal or something?" One of the ninjas stammered.

"Che, no shit genius. And I told you to stop shaking so much, it fucking hurts. Now who the hell are you people? I don't have time for you right now." Hidan looked towards Ashley with a grin. The bearded man moved to stand between Hidan and her and Hidan eyed the sash with the symbol of fire on it on his hip.

"Ah that symbol. It belongs to that group of ninja guardians. Ah shit, that means I'm going to have to go back into that stinking exchange point again."

The bearded ninja simply straightened himself and said, "We are ninja from Konoha. We've been ordered to capture or exterminate the Akatsuki. Since you Akatsuki members always work in teams of two we planned to kill one of you and capture the other. But you've got some serious powers."

"Well you guys really fucked up on that order," Hidan said with a mocking laugh.

"Where is your partner?" The bearded ninja demanded before there was a sudden explosion coming from the roof. The shadow ninja just escaped from being flattened by Hidan's partner by leaping off the roof when Ashley suddenly felt Momoko's arms latch around her in a frightened embrace.

"Ashley-sensei, are you alright?" the teenage girl asked staring at the two small groups of ninjas warily.

"Kotetsu, Izumo fall back!" the bearded man whom Ashley assumed was the lead ninja of the group ordered placing themselves between Ashley and Momoko and the two men.

"So that man in the middle then? I see the lure of money has gotten to you for once Hidan," Ashley heard Hidan's partner coldly speak.

"Stay out of this Kakuzu, I was just going to use angel-chan but now that they pissed me off I'm going to use these fools in my ceremony as well," Hidan snarled as he pulled back his scythe, "You can have the money for the guardian dude."

"Works for me," Kakuzu said stoically, "Just don't underestimate them. You'll get yourself killed."

"Like they could pull it off, Kakuzu?" Hidan asked as he began to drag his foot along the ground, drawing a triangle inside a circle as a design, "If they could kill me I'd let them. But that's not going to happen, is it?"

"What's going on?" Ashley whispered to herself as she felt the tension fill the air, but Hidan seemed to hear her even though it was on a mere breath.

A wicked glint entered Hidan's eye as he said, "Better say your prayers angel-chan. Today we're going to see if your so called God of Gods can match up against my Lord Jashin."

End Chapter Four

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Please review! I have a picture of Ashley and her outfit at my deviantart account if anyone would like to see it its at, shironamikane .deviantart. com / art/ This-Light-of-Mine- 99982609


	5. Faith, Prayer and Losing Our Heads

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

* * *

Chapter Five - Faith, Prayer and Losing Our Heads

For about two minutes the four ninjas standing between Ashley and Hidan simply spoke with each other in a hushed argument while Hidan simply stood there nonchalantly staring at them until he decided to make the first move.

"Have you finished your little strategy meeting now?" Hidan mocked before grimacing as he pulled the long curved blades from his body, "Getting cut like that hurts you know. And Jashin is going to smite assholes like you who don't understand the pain of other people."

The four ninjas tensed up as Hidan licked the edge of the third blade of his scythe cleaning it of Ashley's blood before he pointed one of the blades he had pulled from his body at the group. Ashley watched the shadow ninja crouch down and clasp his hands together like a weird prayer as the bearded ninja pulled out glowing blue bladed knuckle rings.

Then as swiftly as the wind the two leaped in to attack. Black shadow whips followed Hidan closely as he jumped around, snapping his scythe around on its cord in order to land an attack. Ashley could hardly believe what she was seeing. Momoko pulled at her arm and Ashley turned her attention to the girl, "Ashley-sensei we have to get out of here while the ninjas are busy!"

"These guys are real ninjas then?" Ashley questioned, she had simply heard of ninjas and never thought she would see any let alone have one want to kill her for believing in a God that he hated, "If Hidan's god supposedly grants him power by the way taking blood onto his scythe running away won't help since he cut me before these guys arrived. Pray to God for our safety and all will be in his hands."

From the sidelines of the battle Kakuzu spoke up saying, "Hidan, don't let your guard down."

Bitingly Hidan replied, "Just shut the fuck up and watch, Kakuzu."

The attacks between Hidan and the Konoha ninjas became more and more tightened up and as he jumped to avoid the shadow ninjas lines he mockingly called out, "You guys are way to desperate! You keep using attacks that have the highest probability of landing. I can see right through you!"

"And you mess around too much when you fight," Kakuzu intoned with a bored voice.

"Now!" The shadow ninja shouted giving the two other ninjas a signal to attack with shiruken with the bearded ninja throwing another from the other side of Hidan, "You won't escape this time!"

"Then I won't dodge then," Hidan said with a smirk as he ran straight into the path of the oncoming weapons, "I'll kill off you meddlesome brats first."

The bearded ninja threw a knife at Hidan as he shouted, "Your fight is with me!"

Hidan jumped out of the way of the weapon and Asuma tried to dodge as Hidan came right back at him. One of the ninjas guarding the shadow ninja shouted, "Captain Asuma! Watch out!"

Asuma tried to block Hidan's scythe but a blade still managed to cut him in the face. Hidan pulled his weapon back and he gave a little grin as he licked Asuma's blood from the surface of his weapon. Asuma made odd prayer signs Ashley noted as he blew a plume of smoke towards Hidan who was sadistically grinning before he disappeared into the smoke. Asuma clicked his teeth and the plume of smoke ignited into a red-hot fireball.

Instantly Ashley felt a horrible burning sensation on her arm, shoulder and face and she cried out at the shock of the pain as red hot blisters immediately began forming on her skin. Across the street Asuma dropped his blades as the same marks appeared on him as well.

"Hurts doesn't it?" Hidan spoke and Ashley looked over to where he was. He had physically changed in appearance having inky black skin with bone symbols in white that seemed to form his ribcage and skull, "Jashin has judged you. Do you get it now? Can you understand what it means to suffer? You're already under my curse, jerk face, angel-bitch and now the ceremony can begin. Now...we'll suffer the unfathomable pain together!"

"My Father in heaven," Ashley whispered as traces of fear began to enter her spirit, "Please help me. And as I walk through this valley of death please be near with me and comfort me."

"Haha! Praying to your useless god won't help you now, angel-bitch. I've got everything set up! Get ready because this is going to hurt like hell!" Hidan exclaimed as with a mad cackling laugh he pulled out a long pike from inside his torn cloak and looked over towards Ashley in order to see her expression being sure to keep Asuma in his sights. He would relish in Ashley's expression as he killed her.

Asuma glared at Hidan and moved slowly before making a desperate dash towards the immortal priest. Hidan saw it from the corner of his vision and with an evil grin shouted "Suck on this!" as he stabbed himself in the leg causing Ashley to collapse in pain, clutching onto her bleeding leg while Asuma in pain gave a face plant as he fell to the ground in pain.

"Hurts good doesn't it?" Hidan gleefully cackled, "But its nothing like the pain of hitting a vital organ! Man that shit is the best! As the other dies their agony radiates through my body and living through it is pure ecstasy!"

Momoko glared at the crazy ninja who was hurting himself and through him her teacher and under her breath muttered, "Fucking masochist." Hey, being a follower of God never meant that she was going to be perfect. Just forgiven of her shortcomings such as cursing and having a temper.

The three companions of Asuma looked from confusion between Ashley and Asuma and tried to make since of what was happening to them. "Both Captain Asuma and that girl have injured their left legs somethings definitely going wrong here."

"But that guy stabbed himself in the same leg."

"Then why?"

"I get it! That Hidan managed to somehow link his body up with Asuma's and that woman's." Ashley listened to the shadow ninjas analysis and nodded to herself. That was what the blood was for then, for turning himself into some immortal living voodoo doll.

Hidan grinned as he pulled the pike out of his leg causing Ashley to wince as she felt the pain radiate in her own leg. She shakily sat up and stared over at Hidan before he mockingly asked, "Is this what you had in mind when you talked about bone for bone, eye for eye and tooth for tooth? So where do you want the pain next, angel-bitch? How bout here? Or here? Getting it in both legs would be pretty sweet. Or maybe I should just end it now?"

Hidan pointed his pike directly over his heart and gave a grin, "Now do you see angel-bitch. If your god was sovereign over all heaven, hell and earth wouldn't he be able to stop this? Jashin gives his true believers immortal life and your god only promises death! Haha! Now you and that fool will die!"

"I don't think so!" the shadow ninja shouted and a millimeter away from impaling himself Hidan suddenly jerked to a stop, his body held firm within the shadow technique.

"You think this will hold me for long idiot!" Hidan snarled as he began to rigidly move his arms, pulling away from the shadowy hands that where holding him fast.

"How long has it been since you called for backup?" One of the other ninjas asked his partner.

"Ten minutes ago, they won't be here for another twenty at least."

"I see, damn it what should we do?"

"You could try praying like I am," Momoko said from behind them even as she helped Ashley get to her feet, "There is power in prayer and if we all do it God will hear our combined prayers and help."

"We need concrete help, not metaphysical divine intervention."

"Yeah, prayer is only for ceremonies and special occasions, they aren't suited for the middle of a battle."

"But that's when you need God the most," Momoko said angrily. But scowled and turned away. Even if they wouldn't pray for help she would alongside her Ashley-sensei.

Kakuzu took a few steps forward as Hidan struggled to get himself out of the technique, "If it's gonna take much longer, I'll just kill them myself. I'm not letting all that money get away just because you wanted to show off to that girl."

If his skin was normal colored there might have been a hint of red on his face as he hotly snarled back, "I told you to back the fuck off, Kakuzu! I can handle these wimps on my own. And I'm _not_ showing off!"

"I guess it's just a matter of time." Kakuzu said with a glare before settling his eyes on the shadow using ninja, waiting for Hidan to inevitably screw up. It happened faster than he had expected it to. The shadow using ninja suddenly began to move forcing Hidan to copy his movements, moving his foot inch by inch out of the circular symbol he had drawn on the ground.

Ashley and Momoko listened in awe as the shadow ninja explained he had figured out how Hidan's curse worked. Basically by consuming Asuma and Ashley's blood he created a link with the two of them. Once this link was created, any damage done to Hidan's body was reflected on the two of them but it would only work while Hidan was within the diagram he had drawn. Once he was out of the circle the link would be gone. It was all a very complex forbidden ninja technique of some kind, making use of his immortality.

Ashley narrowed her eyes in thought before she suddenly looked over at Hidan and shouted at him, "If what that kid ninja said is true that means that all your talk of your god being greater than mine is a complete hoax. You haven't proven your god is greater then my Lord Almighty, the most you have proven is that because you have an immortal body you can use a _technique_ that helps you and a technique isn't the power of a god."

"You bitch!" Hidan howled as he was pulled fully out of his circle and impaled with a dozen sharp black shadow skewers, "Jashin had given me immortality and that is proof enough of his existence! What had your god ever done except get me gorged on _fish_!?"

"You know this man Ashley-sensei?" Momoko asked quietly but incredulously, "I thought he hated you because you're from different beliefs not because he has a grudge against you."

"We've had only two previous meetings in the past," Ashley simply said.

Asuma had begun to walk towards Hidan with his knuckle blades armed and ready, "Good work, Shikamaru. I'll finish this guy off now."

Seeing Asuma grimly approaching him Hidan strained against the shadowed spears and begged, "Kakuzu, help me!"

Ashley stiffened as she watched Asuma point his blade up as he neared closer to Hidan, "What is he going to do?"

"Now! Hurry the fuck up!" Hidan howled and his eyes widened in fear as Asuma descended upon him. There was a squelching sound and everyone watched as Hidan's head fell from his shoulders and flew onto the ground several feet away with a thud.

"I told you not to underestimate them," Kakuzu said with a bored drawl and there was silence for a moment until the rest of Hidan's body collapsed on it back onto the dusty road.

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End Chapter Five

Please review!


	6. Death, Resurrection And Eternal Bodies

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

* * *

Chapter Six - Death, Resurrection And Eternal Bodies

At the sight of Hidan's headless body and the view of the his head six feet away from the body Ashley immediately got sick though her student Momoko had seen public executions before so it didn't shock her as much. Ashley shivered and prayed to God out loud saying, "Oh God forgive me. I-I shouldn't have yelled at him. He was no more a sinner than anyone else in your eyes and I judged him though I had no right to do so. Please forgive me and guide me on a path of better understanding towards the people of this world."

Momoko clutched onto Ashley to give her some comfort and as she cried in the background the two girls could hear the conversation between the remaining ninjas continuing.

"We got him..." Asuma sighed in relief as Shikamaru attempted to steady himself though he was severely depleted of energy both mentally and physically.

"Shikamaru, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Now there's just one left..."

"Just him, huh?" The three turned to look over at Kakuzu who still looked as bored and motionless as he had been since the beginning of Hidan's struggle.

With a lot of scorn in his voice he spoke out loud saying, "If you needed help, you should have asked for it sooner."

"Fuck you and your slow ass, you let that happen on purpose!" Hidan's voice shouted causing Ashley to look over towards Hidan's severed head completely astonished.

"I believe the words you said before all this started was "Shut the fuck up and watch, Kakuzu!" And now, as a damned _head_, you think you have a right to yell at me?"

"Hidan! Y-you're still alive after that?" Ashley called out in disbelief.

"Oi bitch which part of im-mor-_tal_ didn't you get before!?" Hidan shouted before looking around and seeing his body laying six feet away from him, "Uh...okay, yes, I did tell you not to get involved. But it wasn't like I was trying to embarrass you or make you look bad or anything like that."

"Yes, you manage to look bad and embarrass yourself on your own," Kakuzu said with a growl.

Hidan grinned and in a slightly whiny voice started cajoling at Kakuzu as he looked up 'innocently', "Whatever man. C'mon and bring my body over, just drag it by the shoulders over here would you? Hurry up, Kakuzu-chan! Pretty please, with sugar on top?"

Ashley didn't even blink but suddenly Kakuzu moved ten feet in an instant, not even allowing her eyes to see the path he took. Kakuzu stood next to Hidan's head, bent over and picked it up by his hair. Indignantly Hidan shouted, "H-Hey! Stop that! Cut it out Kakuzu! My body, bring it over _here_ damn it!"

"Your head's lighter than your body is so I'm bringing you to your body." Kakuzu drawled.

"That isn't the issue! This is degrading damn it! Hey, are you ignoring me!? Ow, ow, you're ripping my hair out!"

"If you're going to whine about the pain at least complain about your _neck_."

"You stupid dick! My neck isn't even in the same league! This isn't some tiny little boo-boo you asswipe! This fucking hurts like hell! He cut my fucking head off! That's like, hyper-mega-ultra pain!"

"That's probably true since at the base of the spinal cord there is a cluster of nerves which are the most sensitive in the human body," Ashley said vaguely, recalling her biology class and dubiously accepting the fact that Hidan was a pretty immortal guy by probably supernatural means while the other ninjas visibly freaked out.

"We have to show them we have the upper hand," Shikamaru wheezed as he tried to stand and Asuma moved as though he was going to try to rejoin his team.

"Get real," Kakuzu suddenly spoke before he jumped into action and quickly laid out Asuma with a few well placed kicks and a back breaking knee drop.

Once Asuma was laying motionless Kakuzu calmly walked over to Hidan's body and propped his back up with a hand. He leveled up Hidan's neck to his head and began to stitch up Hidan calmly and simply. As he did this he spoke to Hidan, "Now that I've helped you, I'm gonna have to stay involved in this. And sit still you baby."

"Yeah whatever." Hidan grumbled flinching at the threads weaving into his skin. Finally Kakuzu finished up and Hidan stood up moving his head back and forth and cracking his neck, "Ah, all back together again."

"Watch those stitches, they'll break if you move around too much," Kakuzu warned in the same voice he used when he was telling Hidan to be careful.

Hidan shrugged indifferently and growled, "You know what Kakuzu? Screw you."

Kakuzu glared at Hidan as he said, "Your stupid ceremony is bad enough but I'm sick of you dragging fights out with all your blabbering. You take care of the bounty and that other one."

"Right I'm going to get them both. Him for doing that to me and her for being a pretentious bitch. I can't go breaking the commandments now can I?"

"That again? Like I care. I'll take care of the other three." Kakuzu immediately dashed into action and Hidan gave a sideways grin towards Ashley before he frowned suddenly.

"That stuff you said about techniques and shit? I don't understand your stupid baseless faith and it pisses me off! My Jashin doesn't need to prove himself to a bitch like you who can't understand how I can _see_ him in what I do every day. My faith is proof of Jashin!"

"You understand my view of faith more than you think," Ashley said with a smile, "Because I see God working in every moment of my life. I see him in life, I see his handiwork of creation and I know he is real because without him I wouldn't have changed into what I am today."

"And what have you changed into?" Hidan said with a mocking snarl.

"Something not belonging to earth anymore." Ashley replied. Hidan rolled his eyes and looked over in the direction that Kakuzu had gone and with a grunt noticed that he had already captured the remaining ninjas with the cords in his body and so he started heading back towards his circle.

"Hm, looks like Kakuzu is finished already, I'd better get moving too. Otherwise he'll bitch to me about my ritual taking forever." He grinned sadistically as he approached the downed Asuma and with a dramatic flair lifted his pike and whispered, "Bye, bye dick."

Suddenly though Asuma jumped up from his position on the ground and viciously swung at Hidan with his knuckle-blade. Asuma knocked the pike away but with a grin Hidan suddenly pulled a cord and his scythe reappeared from nowhere. Desperately Shikamaru cried out, "Asuma! Behind you!"

Asuma ducked the attack allowing the scythe to completely impale Hidan in his gut and said, "You won't get me with the same trick-"

Ashley froze as she suddenly felt the injury Asuma had. Hidan's previously blank face broke into a wide grin as he giggled before braking into maniacal laughter and saying, "It wasn't the same you idiot!"

Ashley felt blood enter her mouth and when she realized the extent of her injury her entire body suddenly felt burning hot and sick. "Ashley-sensei!" she heard Momoko cry out at the same time as Shikamaru shouted Asuma's name. Asuma was in worse shape than Ashley because of Kakuzu's attack, Momoko knew, but that was cold comfort, "God won't let you die, will he sensei? This world needs you and your knowledge of God Almighty, who else can reach us? You've only spread the message of God and his Son's sacrifice for the salvation of mankind to only twelve villages and there are so many more who need him!"

"Momoko, please just pray with me," Ashley said and the girl nodded, both girls falling into fervent prayer.

Hidan cackled and mockingly asked, "So? Does it hurt? Did you know if you hadn't ducked and just gotten yourself killed that useless Jashin-rejected bitch wouldn't be feeling this as well?" He shook his scythe back and forth within him causing more blood to gust from both of the cursed bodies wounds.

Hidan gave out a creepy little giggle as he bent over and grabbed his pike, "Finally, I'll be able to experience the pain!" He swung it out to the sharpened point and aimed it over his heart, "The pain that comes with killing you both!"

And with a shout of dismay from both Momoko and Shikamaru Hidan speared the pike into his heart. There was a blissful smile on Hidan's face as he felt the pain in the chests of his victims, "It's so wonderful."

Asuma collapsed and Hidan's appearance returned to normal. He was completely happy and fulfilled in doing Jashin's will. Until he turned and saw that Ashley was still standing despite her wounds. "What the hell? Why aren't you dying on the ground along with that bastard!?"

Ashley was burning in pain, not understanding how but she was still alive and her heart was still beating despite Hidan forcing an inch wide hole through it. '_I don't understand. Why am I still alive? Shouldn't I be seeing the light again?_'

Ashley felt the Holy Spirit stir within her and she carefully cleared her mind of all the confusion, worries and fears this new world had brought her and listened for the still small voice of God within her. '_You will not die, Ashley. Because you have died once already and the body you live in right now is a heavenly body, non-aging and undying for eternity. Hidan's immortality is dependent on the lives he takes. You have a true eternal body to go with your eternal soul. Sending you to the world you are in without this blessing would have been foolishness._'

Ashley just fell mentally into the presence of the Holy Spirit before opening her eyes and looking at Hidan, who was visibly shaking for some reason, "My God is a God who protects and saves. It is his will that I live."

This time even Kakuzu felt the unearthly holy power radiating from Ashley as she walked towards the frozen Hidan and dying Asuma. The Konoha ninjas could feel it as well. It was powerful, it was overwhelming and with a slap of Ashley's hand onto Asuma's body it instantly undid all the damage Hidan had done to him, bringing him from the brink of death back to full life. In a reverent voice Ashley spoke to Asuma saying, "You will live today."

The only person who wasn't visibly effected and shaken by the power streaming from within Ashley was her student Momoko. Shikamaru shook as he turned to Momoko who was beside him and asked, "What _is_ that!?"

"That, shadow ninja," Momoko said with a smile as she felt the same power resonate within her, "is the Holy Spirit, the third persona of God Almighty who dwells within all who believe in him as Lord and Savior."

Kakuzu glared at Hidan and growled, "I thought _you_ were the expert on religeon among us. You're telling me _that_ is a figment of that girl's _imagination_?"

End Chapter Six

* * *

Reviews are desired but aren't necessary!


	7. Working Evil Into Something Good

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

* * *

Chapter Seven - Working Evil Into Something Good

The crushing power within Ashley seemed to lessen into a warm flicker rather than a blazing flame and so Shikamaru took the initiative to move Momoko away from the battle while Asuma assisted Ashley. Hidan howled in rage and Kakuzu moved out of his stillness to finish off the two ninjas he had in his clutches when the reinforcement team from Konoha suddenly arrived making it eight versus two rather than four verses two. Hidan and Kakuzu did not want to let Asuma get away, though he was now fully healed internally and externally thanks to the power of God. Ashley and Momoko didn't know it, but their actions had left a huge impact on Asuma and his squad, especially Shikamaru.

Kakuzu and Hidan geared up to begin fighting again when they heard the summons of their leader in their minds to return in order to seal the two-tailed beast and the three-tailed beast. With great reluctance Kakuzu forced Hidan to retreat and before they disappeared Hidan glared over towards Ashley and shouted, "One day, girl. Uber-god that gives you immortality or not I will find a way to kill you! That's a promise angel-bitch!"

As he disappeared Momoko shook her head and spoke to Ashley saying, "Its scary and weird but I think that gray haired crazy ninja is obsessed with you or something, Ashley-sensei."

Ashley sighed as she fingered the now shallow flesh wound over her heart and said, "That was a heck of a bathroom break. I think we had better start off again."

"Wait you two," Asuma called out making the two girls pause in their steps, "First we need to take you to Konoha for questioning and protection since you were involved here and the Akatsuki will likely know of your actions and be out for your lives now."

Ashley nodded and turned to Momoko, "We will go with them. This may even give an opportunity to see how witnessing to ninjas will go. Sir, we cannot stay for very long though, I have many things to accomplish and I am a messenger of God."

Momoko placed a hand on Ashley's shoulder and said, "Sensei, while we stay there you can begin writing down teachings and have them published and delivered to villages."

"Yes, I suppose that would work though I do wish I had my Bible with me to make sure I'm getting everything right. I don't think I remember even half of what the Psalms said." And so while several ninjas searched the area Momoko and Ashley left with Asuma's group who led them to Konoha.

None of the Akatsuki where surprised that when Hidan and Kakuzu appeared for the ceremony that Hidan was complaining and swearing like a drunken sailor. What was surprising to them was the source of Hidan's complaints, "That bitch made a fool of me! I don't care if I have to kill her a million times I will keep doing it until she either dies or admits that Jashin is better and more powerful than her nameless meddling god!"

Kakuzu felt the questioning stare of the leader land on him and with a drawling explanation he said, "Hidan met a girl that's immortal and can revive the dead. She undid his work on a bounty and survived his technique."

Deidara let out a mocking laugh and said, "Maybe we should recruit that girl than, hm. She could replace Hidan and would probably easier to deal with and easier on the eyes, hm. That way if someone dies like Master Sasori did she can revive them so we don't have to deal with another _freak_ like Tobi, hm!"

Hidan shook his head angrily and shouted, "Hell no! That bitch isn't even a ninja. She's just an idiot who won't shut up about being nice to your enemies and loving your neighbor as yourself. Her damn religion is all about fucking love, love, love or some shit."

"Hidan. Deidara. Be quiet, there will be no more talk of whoever Hidan has a grudge against it is his business," their leader called out and both of them glowered down at the images of the holder of the two-tailed beast and the three-tailed beast, "This sealing will take six days."

"What the hell! Screw that! It's raining where we are!" Hidan protested angrily.

"Hidan stop complaining," Kakuzu ordered and Hidan bristled at the command.

"Hey screw you, Kakuzu. I could be out there finishing the job on those godless Konoha heathens if it weren't for angel-bitch's meddling and this long-ass ritual."

"Konoha isn't exactly godless," the leader intoned severely, "They place their previous generations on a pedestal and look up to them as nonperishable gods and ideals fueling their willpower. Although you could say those things are nothing more than the justification to fight. Motives for war are not of concern, religion, ideology, recourses, land, spite, love or "just because" no matter how pathetic the reason it's not enough to start a war. War will never cease to exist though. Reasons can be thought up after the fact that human nature pursues strife."

"Nobody wants to hear your long ass lectures!" Hidan whined, "I have my own way of doing things...my own objectives...and I don't plan on giving it all up for the organization!"

"As long as you are a part of the Akatsuki you are expected to contribute to its goals and when our goals come into fruition your desires will surely be realized as well."

"Whatever," Hidan growled feeling surly and argumentative he continued, "You go on and on trying to make yourself sound all special, but Akatsuki's goals in the end are nothing more than making money! You're just the same as Kakuzu and as a reason to fight, that is the one I fucking hate the most! "

"It is true that our goals for the time being are financial but the true purpose of the organization are still different than you believe, Hidan, and the accomplishment of our goals require a substantial amount of financing. The ultimate goal of the Akatsuki is to be accomplished in three stages. In the first stage we must collect money. After that is the second stage to create the ninja world's first contracted organization of war. Paying no allegiance to any country, we will provide our clients with the exact amount of ninja they need at a low price and dominate the ninja market of war creating a monopoly making the world rely only on us for warfare. We will use the tailed beasts to cause more conflicts and then, when the world is reliant on us only will come the third stage...world domination. Now then, we will begin the technique and seal the three-tailed beast first followed by the two tailed beast."

The Akatsuki nodded their heads in agreement and each of them formed a hand seal pulling the destructive creatures and sealing them into the statue beneath their feet. Once again in the physical world nothing happened during the sealing of the tailed beasts. However far away while the Akatsuki once again unknowingly cracked open space and time Ashley's rather ordinary eternal body received two momentarily unnoticed additions.

Up in Heaven and down on earth all at once God smiled in amusement. He knew that once Hidan figured out it was the Akatsuki themselves unknowingly giving Ashley metaphysical upgrades he was going to flip out. Ashley was the anchor from His earth to this new one, she was there because he already knew that it was Ashley who would help the new world's encounters with _real_ demons, not gigantic beasts made up of energy. In a world where spirit energy was actively used as weapons a true demon would be able to physically attack and harm people rather being restricted to the spiritual plane of earth. With the rift opened for so long it would only be a matter of time before Satan entered the new world in the hopes of gaining a desperate foothold before he would be eternally punished for his crimes and sins against his creator.

Far away from the Akatsuki gathering in the village of Konoha Ashley and Momoko stood before the Hokage Tsunade while Asuma and his squad reported what happened from their perspective during their encounter with the two Akatsuki members Hidan and Kakuzu. Tsunade had a severe expression on her face when she steely glanced over at Ashley and Momoko, causing the teenage civilian to glance away nervously but the foreign looking immortal to keep her gaze steady.

"You and the Akatsuki member Hidan are linked by having immortality and apparently have had encounters with each other before. If this is nothing but an elaborate scheme to have two Akatsuki spies entrance into Konoha even if you are immortal your subordinate will be executed and you will be eternally imprisoned."

"I swear that I have not encountered Hidan or Kakuzu besides Hidan for two previous incidents and Kakuzu in one other incident," Ashley replied to the spoken threat and smiled, "And let me assure you that I had no idea that I had an eternal body previous to this experience."

"How could you not know you where immortal?" Tsunade asked incredulously.

Rhetorically Ashley replied, "How often do you find yourself not dieing when you are supposed to? I assure you I've never been stabbed through the heart via voodoo before today and have never been closer to death before then except for a fractured leg when I was five years old."

Tsunade nodded and said, "Very well then, the two of you will stay in Konoha until we can determine how much the Akatsuki are interested in retribution against you. Please fill out these forms and hand them in to Shizune when you are done, they will grant you temporary citizenship and amnesty here in Konoha."

Ashley and Momoko took the forms and nodded in agreement before being escorted out of the room leaving only Asuma standing before Tsunade. The Fifth Hokage tilted her head to the side as she asked, "All right, you mentioned all the facts of this case in your report now Asuma, tell me your opinion on these matters."

Asuma pulled out a cigarette and took a long drag out of it before sighing and replying, "Without that young woman I would be as dead as my father. Whatever power she used it was potent, very massive and had more chikara then all the tailed-beasts in the world combined. And even though it wasn't malevolent and I was a minute away from death it was the most frightening experience of my life, as though all the bad crap I've done in my life was shoved in a lab to be analyzed. She should be watched after though. She could be being tricked by someone or might be brainwashed. Kind intentions or not, that power could destroy more than Fire Country, it could decimate the entire world."

Tsunade nodded, "We will watch them both very carefully, if either of them does something that even hints at them plotting against Konoha we will use everything at our disposal to stop them. I will protect my village from anything and anyone, whether it be ninja, beast or God."

End Chapter Seven

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	8. Not Impossible In A World of Super Ninja

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Eight - Not Impossible In A World of Super Ninjas

Ashley stared down at the paperwork she was supposed to be filling out, frowning slightly. There where a few problems going on with this. For one, the form was asking for things she did not have such as a "Village Serial Number" a "Travel Tracking Number" or a "Feudal Lord Citizenship", feeling slightly perturbed she simply wrote down her social security number, her drivers license number and noted that she was a citizen of the United States. As she filled out the medical forms she hoped the ninjas wouldn't think she was making jokes to cover her identity or something.

When she turned in her paperwork to the Hokage's assistant Shizune frowned at her and said, "Ashley Maria Selena Morales-Delgado?"

"The form did ask for my full name," Ashley said with a slight blush. Shizune had completely mispronounced every syllable of her name. Why everyone in an alternate world speak English was beyond her, unless it was actually she who was speaking another language without knowing it but with God things like that were definitely not impossible.

"And you're twenty-three? That's interesting, you seem younger." Shizune commented.

"I suppose when I turn forty that will be a compliment." Ashley said with a smile. Her smile faded however when she heard Shizune's next casual statement.

"You had an abortion four years ago and the procedure damaged your uterus. I'm going to have to recommend you getting a check up at the hospital just to see if any problems with your uterus are resolved."

"I-I don't need to do that, thanks," Ashley said awkwardly, "This body is brand new so there's nothing wrong with it, besides it having been impaled a few times anyway."

"I'm still recommending it and putting you down for a check up though," Shizune said as she ticked off the sheet of paper. She then smiled and said, "You're free to go, a chunin outside will escort you to your temporary apartment. I don't understand it though, Shikamaru was talking about how you seemed to be one with God and filled with holy power. Why in the world did you get an abortion?"

As Ashley left the room she simply said, "That's private and all you have to know is that no human is perfect and even though God forgives our sins we still have to live with the consequences of our actions."

Ashley was surprised to see it was Shikamaru, the shadow ninja, standing outside waiting for her but she smiled and said, "Hello, how are you doing?"

The boy let out a sigh as he said, "It's troublesome you know. All that stuff about God and immortality and all. I never really had a belief in anything besides the Will of Fire that permeates this village. If you hadn't been there when we ambushed those two Asuma would have likely been killed. That student of yours told me that that power was the Spirit of God that lives within all who believe in him. Seeing all that definitely made me believe in that God of yours, but I don't feel any power within myself. Am I doing anything wrong?"

Ashley smiled fondly at Shikamaru and said, "The only things you need to know is that everyone on earth has sinned and fallen short of God's standard of perfection. But since God is merciful and loves us two thousand years ago he had a Son, really himself born as a human to a virgin girl, who lived a perfect human life for us before he was taken beaten and murdered for the sake of punishing all the sins that weren't his up on a cross. He died and after three days rose to life again after breaking the chains of death. He ascended to heaven about two hundred days later to prepare his heavenly kingdom for all who believe. As he left he gave his followers and believers a mission to explain his story all across the world. When people learn about Jesus, believe all the things he did and then put their full faith in him we belong to him and become free from sin. The gift of Jesus is free to accept, but it does mean that from then on you begin to change and see the world not as your own."

Shikamaru grinned a little and said, "If it's all that simple I'd be surprised if everyone from where you come from _wasn't_ a believer in God and His Son."

Ashley shook her head and said, "It actually isn't that simple. There are many people who hate the message of Jesus. To them it is foolishness and a mere fairy tale. Lots of people think of him as a great teacher, a great preacher who cared for the poor, the oppressed and the outcasts of society but to them he was definitely a man and not God. Once people harden their hearts to the message there is nothing, not what happened to your teacher or anything else in the world that would be able to convince them that He is God."

"Well I could definitely believe all that," Shikamaru drawled lazily, "It isn't _too_ far fetched considering the world we live in. What's the standard initiation into this belief or whatever? It isn't anything crazy like getting a tattoo or praying nonstop in a circle for an hour or something is it?"

Ashley laughed and replied, "No, all that was commanded of us by Jesus was to believe and be baptized. Baptism simply is following Jesus' example set for us by being immersed in water and then lifted out, it represents the death of your old life and entrance into your new one. After that you definitely belong to God, even if you think he feels as far away as the mountains and that you're still the same, you are not."

Shikamaru yawned and said, "Well there's the river. Let's do this now since its commanded and all. What happens if someone comes to faith in the desert or something and never is around enough water to be immersed in it?"

"It doesn't have to be a full immersion, you simply publicly declare your faith and go from there," Ashley said with a smile, "Baptism is simply a public statement."

And so the two waded into the water from the shore, Shikamaru simply standing there and then Ashley carefully grasped the back of his head with one hand and his chest with the other. She swiftly dunked him in the river, not planning on speaking until he was pulled up. But while she dunked Shikamaru there was a sudden shout and a body plowed harshly into Ashley, a kunai stabbing itself into her side as she fell into the water. Ashley was in pain but the person above her was howling in rage, "How dare you try to drown Shikamaru! After Asuma almost died you just think you can end it!? I don't think so, you spy! Assassin!"

Ashley winced in pain as she came up out of the water that was pooling blood around her while Shikamaru stood up coughing and spluttering muttering "How troublesome" as he did so. He turned to the screeching girl and said, "Ino! Stop it! You just stabbed a civilian! Do you think a civilian could actually drown me with her own two hands? I was doing this voluntarily. Ah, jumping to conclusions is too troublesome you know."

"Hm, why do I get the feeling now that I'm immortal I'm going to be constantly stabbed and maimed," Ashley said with a groan as she instinctively covered the wound with her hand before she looked at the weapon in the girl's hand she had been stabbed with, "Did you just attack and try to kill me with a hand held _shovel_?"

"This isn't a shovel, it's a kunai," Ino said before blushing at the fact that she had mindlessly attacked a girl who wasn't actually drowning her best friend, "Uh you can go ahead and finish what you where doing."

Ashley smiled over at Shikamaru and said, "Well, Shikamaru, you are now baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If you have any questions you can ask me and I'll try to explain. But there are some things about God that are completely out of my or anyone on earth's understanding."

Shikamaru nodded and said, "Well Ino, this is Miss. Ashley. Through her faith or something God saved Asuma so I felt moved to commit my soul to that God."

"We should introduce her to Chouji then," Ino said with a grin, "Do you want to join us for lunch?"

"Sure, I'd be glad to. After that Shikamaru can take me to where I'm supposed to live," Ashley said with a smile. The three walked into a barbecue restaurant and were not surprised to see Chouji sitting there eating but they were surprised that a girl with gold eyes and dark blue hair was sitting with him.

Shikamaru recognized her suddenly and Ashley smiled as she called out, "Hello Momoko, how are you?"

Momoko turned to look over and said, "Hello Ashley-sensei! This is my ninja escort Chouji. He's a very nice person."

Ashley smiled as Shikamaru and Ino sat, giving her room to join them, "Hello Momoko. This is Shikamaru and Ino. They are pretty decent kids and pretty loyal to each other too."

The afternoon was spent very nicely and as the chunin paid for the meal and got ready to leave Ino leaned over to whisper to Ashley with a slight blush on her cheeks, "Sorry about earlier. I didn't know you were so nice and normal or anything. I just heard rumors saying you had to be watched since you were suspected of having ties to the Akatsuki or something."

Ashley sighed with a wry grin and shook her head speaking in good humor, "He's immortal, I'm eternal. That's probably the only similarity we have. Our faiths are different and our careers are different. That Hidan is probably out somewhere in the world sacrificing kittens or something."

Far away as the Akatsuki began to seal the two-tailed cat beast Hidan sneezed very loudly causing everyone to glance over at his hologram, "What? I told you fuckers its _raining_ where we are!"

End Chapter Eight

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	9. Not As Strong As You Think You Are

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Nine - Not As Strong As You Think You Are

Hidan scowled as he wrung out the water from his cloak. It just figured that the rain had to stop finally during the last hour of the six day sealing ritual. Kakuzu had gone off to some private meeting with one of his contacts so he could go searching for a new bounty while Hidan was left to muck about on his own for an hour or so.

Still feeling very pissed off at the fact that he had botched up his sacrifice of Asuma thanks to Ashley, Hidan decided he would jump a highway robber or something to sacrifice and take his frustrations out on. He pulled his scythe onto his back and moved towards a roadway that was depressingly empty of traffic. Hidan was fairly disappointed but didn't dwell on it too much as he strolled down the street hoping to run into someone who would make a worthy sacrifice to Jashin. He was bored but as he walked down the street he suddenly passes a man who was simply standing in the center of the road and steadily watching him as he walked.

The man had very sharp and striking features but his eyes were a sickening blue like evil encased ice and he wore a silvery robe of high quality while holding an ornate golden staff at his right hand. The man was looking at everything around him without even hiding the amount of hatred and loathing in his eyes especially as he looked at Hidan.

Scowling at the man Hidan marched up to him and snarled, "Hey what's your problem asshole, if you have a problem with me just say so, don't go glaring at people who could fuck you up."

The man didn't even flinch at Hidan's close proximity and he gave a twisted grin as he replied, "So you _are_ able to see me then. Wonderful. And a ninja as well? How fortunate for me to be able to test someone so potent."

"Of course I'm able to see you you bastard. I hate it when people give me shit for no reason, it pisses me off! If you look at the wrong person like that they might kill you." Hidan snarled as he gripped the handle of his scythe.

The man stared at him in amusement before saying, "A scythe now that is charming. And a rosary? How cute, I bet you spend three hours a day praying prayers that you don't even feel impassioned about saying. Like anyone in your fallen race has even a chance at impressing That One."

"You heathen bastard!" Hidan growled as he pulled out his scythe to attack, "I will smite your sinful ass in the name of Jashin! You're just like that angel-bitch, thinking your God is so much better!"

Suddenly like a roar of light there was a sudden eruption from underneath the ground and three very large and very ugly monsters tore their way from the ground and turned to face Hidan. They were something that looked like a cross between a scaly lizard, a bear and a wolverine and they all were the size of horses and had eyes that glowed white with hellfire, "How do you like my sweet cherubs?" the icy man asked lightly, "They are some of my favorite brethren, they are usually sent in order possess animals and drive them mad which they like but tearing you apart will be a new experience for them. They are used to tearing up souls not bodies."

Hidan whipped the scythe through the air and viciously attacked the strange monsters that where now trying to rip him to shreds with their claws and teeth. The monsters didn't even flinch or dodge away from the attacks he was sending them and though the where severely cut and he even cleaved one's front leg off the monsters didn't bleed at all. One of the monsters tore its way through Hidan's long range attacks and almost tore Hidan in two as it clamped its jaws over Hidan's shoulders and viciously ripped him apart like a rabid dog attacking a chew toy.

All Hidan could feel was a burning agonizing pain like none he had ever felt in his life as the claws like knives and teeth of fire tore into his body. If his body hadn't been immortal he would have died in the first ten seconds when the other two monsters reached him and began fighting for him as bits of his flesh kept disappearing into the monsters terrifying maws.

"Oh you're not dead yet then? How odd, such brutal attacks are rarely survived," the icy man said with a vicious grin.

Hidan coughed and spluttered out the blood that was pooling in his lungs as he hissed, "You just fucked with the wrong person, asshole. I'm an immortal follower of Jashin and he will smite your disgusting creatures and your heathen ass through me!"

The man didn't look terrified at all in fact he burst out into malicious laughter, "Jashin!? Give me a break! Even I know That Most Hated One is more than a match for that figment of an artist's imagination! Jashin, the evil god who considers it a sin to leave those who sin against him even partially dead. Total massacre is the way of truth and prevailing light! None of what you have believed in or experienced was even real! All the people of this world are worthless creations of a disgusting human whose plot holes and logic would have doomed this world the moment it became real if it weren't for That Hated One!"

Hidan winced as he tore viciously away from the beasts, leaving his left arm behind as one of the monsters tore it from his shoulder, "What the fuck are you talking about?! How dare you defile Jashin-sama's mighty name! I will cut you to pieces and scatter your flesh to feed the wild beasts of the forest!"

An icy wind seemed to emit from the man as he hissed, "You are a worthless man who couldn't even stand up to the _cherubs_ of hell let alone I, the great demon Athmmol or the mighty Father Below!"

"I'll kill you bastard!" Hidan snarled and grabbed his scythe with his one hand, preparing to launch another attack this time directly at the so called demon on the road. There was a low rumbling sound and Hidan was suddenly knocked into a tree by a vast and unspeakably evil power.

The man seemed less amused and more spiteful now as he approached the immobile Hidan, "All you do human is talk and all you say are empty threats again and again. You say you are immortal but I wonder how agonizing it would be if I actually pulled your soul from your body."

Hidan's eyes widened as the man pointed the staff in his hands at his torn and mangled chest. The end of the staff began to glow an icy white daggered point and with a vicious lurch the man impaled the instrument into Hidan's body. An unearthly scream erupted from Hidan, so loud and so piercing that from three miles to the north Kakuzu heard it.

Kakuzu had been wrapping up his meeting when the sound of Hidan's screaming reached his ears, his informant tilted his head towards the direction of the noise before giving off an uncomfortable shiver as he muttered, "Well I for sure wouldn't want to be whoever that poor bastard is right now."

Kakuzu tilted his head and left the meeting a minute later, walking testily in the direction from where he heard Hidan's screams coming from muttering as he went, "If that brat is in pieces after messing with a bear or something I am not going to let him forget it."

When Kakuzu came onto the road where Hidan's battle had taken place he couldn't help but balk. Hidan was impaled onto a tree by a golden staff and his arms and legs had been torn from his body and scattered in mauled pieces along the road. The immortal man's chest was open and glistening red from several agonizing looking gashes revealing his vital organs. Kakuzu could see Hidan's heart was still beating within the open ribcage but his face was completely empty of any expression and his eyes were cold and soulless instead of holding their usual fiery anger and annoyance.

"Hidan, what happened to you?" Kakuzu demanded but the impaled Jashinist just continued to stare out into empty space as though he were hypnotized.

"Hidan if you don't stop messing around I will stitch your left arm to your right shoulder and your right arm to your left," Kakuzu growled but Hidan didn't reply. Kakuzu immediately knew something had happened that had gone terribly wrong and didn't know what to do about it. He could physically patch Hidan up but if the man had his mind destroyed by a genjutsu or something he would have to approach Itachi in order to fix him.

Kakuzu frowned, annoyed at the situation and began to patch Hidan back together like a jigsaw puzzle, muttering angrily as he went. It was eerie listening to Hidan's soft even breathing rather than listening to him bitch and moan about the pain. As he silently worked it was to his testament to his skills that he didn't leap out of his skin when he felt a persons hand touch his shoulder. He hadn't even felt the approach of whoever it was. Kakuzu snapped his attention over to the side and glared at the person standing beside him before he suddenly flinched away from the touch.

Standing at his side was a woman who was at _least_ a foot and a half taller than him with power similar to that of the girl Hidan fought coming off her in waves. She had bright wings made of glowing light and an expression that could have made a demon burst into fearful tears. Completely at odds to her appearance the woman smiled serenely and calmly spoke, "Fear not, I am here to help you and your partner. In order to help your friend you will need to lightly tap him with the other side of the staff. Either that or find a Believer to pray for his soul to return. If you do not his soul will not be able to return the body. Also, I bring a message to you from The Most High: be on the watch for the Lawless Apollyon and his followers for if you continue along the path you are on they will destroy you, everything you work for and bring the hounds of the gates of hell to that statue you and the rest of the Akatsuki organization are using to seal up beasts."

Kakuzu moved with the intention to attack the strange woman but in the blink of an eye she was gone. Great, he thought to himself, now he was getting caught in a genjutsu too. Kakuzu viciously pulled Hidan to his feet and snarled, "Follow me brat, we're going to have that little brain of yours checked out by that brat Itachi and don't you dare lag, if it weren't for this mess you ended up in I would be able to go after a forty million ryo bounty!"

Kakuzu shivered slightly when Hidan's body simply nodded and followed silently behind him. Genjutsu or not Kakuzu was starting to think that a religious fanatic Hidan was about a dozen times better than the creepy zombie Hidan. At least Hidan as himself was entertaining even if he was annoying. But if Hidan kept staring at him waiting for Kakuzu's next order with that unblinking empty gaze of his Kakuzu was going to simply have to cut off Hidan's head, stuff it in a bag and drag the body over to where Itachi was to preserve his own sanity.

Free from the confines of his body, but not at all dead Hidan's angry soul followed behind Kakuzu as he howled at him to take the stupid staff an _do what the mental angel told him to do._ "I hate fucking demons," Hidan growled as he shivered at the memory of the creature he encountered who called himself Athmmol and vowed to find a way to kill him, demon or not.

End Chapter Nine

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Thank you to those who review! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	10. A Funny Thing Happened In Konoha

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Ten - A Funny Thing Happened In Konoha

The day after her arrival and subsequent relocation into Konoha Shizune visited Ashley as she was leaving to get some morning air, "Good morning Shizune." Ashley said with a friendly smile.

"Ashley! Oh I'm glad I caught up with you. I was looking at your name because it looked a little familiar and I finally figured out what it was," Shizune said excitedly, "About a month ago a big scroll was delivered to the office by a very tall man and it hasn't been opened because of the seal on it. The scroll has your name on it! Now I get why that guy said, "a woman will come here in a month to retrieve this." Do you want to go get it now?"

Ashley nodded and replied, "Of course, we'll go right now."

Shizune escorted Ashley back to the Hokage's office building and brought her over to her desk, Shizune opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a thick looking scroll, "Here it is, see your name is printed on the top and the seal is odd because all it has is the kanji for 'book' on it."

A flicker of revelation dashed across Ashley's eyes as she said, "Book? If this is what I hope it is then a few of my issues will definitely be solved." Ashley placed a hand over the sticky seal and simply peeled it off the scroll, "I thought you said it was hard to open?"

Shizune looked at the seal in Ashley's hands and shook her head in slight disbelief, "It was a sticker? Seals are usually applied and removed with chakara so no wonder everyone was going on about unbreakable seals and such."

Ashley unrolled the scroll and was surprised to see a list of book titles and names of other possessions she had left behind in her old life. Hesitantly she brushed her hand over the string of letters that spelled, The Message before leaping back in shock when a thick book popped up onto the blank near edge of the scroll. Her eyes widened in excitement as she shouted, "This is wonderful! All my books are here! I can take my Bible out and copy passages out of it to send to the villages I visit and have visited!"

Shizune smiled over at the ecstatic woman and said, "Well I'm glad this made you so happy. Now you and Momoko must remember to stay within the village and always be around someone of at least chunin level if you plan to go somewhere within the village."

Ashley nodded and as she opened her book to the first page said, "That's fine, if you would escort me to where either Momoko or Shikamaru is I will stay with them for the rest of the morning or so in order that I can show them a few things."

A voice from the doorway spoke up, revealing Ino had been standing there for a little while listening in, "I will go with you. I was planning to visit Sakura today and Shikamaru said he was going to be over by that training ground this morning."

"Alright, that would be great," Shizune said with a smile, "Have a good day Ashley and be sure to remember your appointment tomorrow afternoon for a check up."

Ashley nodded in silent assent and followed behind Ino. As they walked down the wide roads Ino pleasantly chatted her heart out to Ashley on every subject from boys (some where hot and a lot where _not_) to training and all the way back to boys again. Ashley smiled at Ino's passion and excitement she really did like spending her time with teenagers and kids, it was a big reason on why she wanted to be a teacher in her old life. Soon Ino was joined up by her friend Sakura, a pleasant girl with pretty pink hair and a respectful disposition.

When the three arrived at the training grounds Momoko was already there with Shikamaru and there were also two other men and a blond teenage boy there. Or rather there were about fifty of the blond teenage boy, Ashley smiled and out loud spoke up saying, "You ninja aren't anything like what the ninjas are like from where I come from."

Sakura and Ino glanced in confusion over at Ashley and Sakura spoke up asking, "What do you mean? Are the ninjas really that different from wherever you are from?"

Ashley shook her head and said, "There where but I don't really know much about them besides them historically being assassins and such used for causing chaos and problems in ancient Japan. They didn't have all the superpowers you guys have. Mostly I know things from movies and video games but those are really bad exaggerated examples. The "good guy" ninjas in the movies are always either solitary or in a small group. Then there are the "bad guy" ninjas who are almost always in huge waves of incompetent ninja armies. Usually the good guys only have problems fighting when they are facing a more competent lone ninja. It's like a weird Ninja Murphy's Law or something that says that ninja are always weaker in large groups."

"Are you making fun of me!?" Multiple loud voices demanded from the field and Ashley turned to glance at the angry blond kid and his clones, most of which were glaring at her.

Ashley shook her head and replied, "No I wasn't. Shouldn't you be practicing whatever it is that you're doing rather than listen to me talk?"

"Well yes..." the boy replied before giving a shout of irritation mixed with impatience, "But damn it this elemental stuff is _impossible!_"

Ashley curiously turned to him and said, "Elements? Like iron and oxygen or elements like fire and water?"

"Wind of course," the boy replied, "I need to mix my wind element in with my chikara in order to make an elemental attack but it's pretty impossible! Like trying to look right while you're already looking left."

Ashley cocked her head to the side and spoke as she pointed to his clones out on the field, "But all those dupes of yours are looking in a lot of directions at once, not just right and left."

A proverbial light bulb seemed to blink over the teen's head and his expression lit up, "Of course! Thanks for helping, uh, what's your name anyway? I've never seen you before."

"My name's Ashley, I'm staying in Konoha for a while," Ashley smiled as she introduced herself, "Keep working hard kid, talent is useless if you never put it to work."

"I'm not just "kid" my name is Naruto Uzumaki and one day I'm going to be Hokage!" Naruto cheered.

Ashley smiled and said, "Let me know when someone writes a book about you. Uh, Naruto I don't know if this is normal or not but one of your dupes is freaking out and mutating over there."

"Captain Yamato! Help!" Naruto shouted and the man sitting amongst several wooden pillars switched his hands around and several pillars seemed to come to life and gobble up the red bubbling energy emerging from one of the Naruto clones. The energy was very powerful and filled with animalistic carnage.

Ashley figured she had been enough of a distraction and the mature ninjas could handle whatever it was so she moved to sit next between Momoko and Shikamaru, "Hello, I've come by to actually let you know that I'll soon begin translating the Bible which is the Word of God transcribed by man many years ago. When you read it just be sure to keep everything in context, there's nothing quite as wrong as taking a perfectly good passage and changing it to suit your needs."

The two teenagers smiled and nodded in agreement before Shikamaru suddenly spoke up with a slight smile, "Tonight Naruto is taking Team Ten out for yakiniku to celebrate the end of our mission with Asuma do you want to come along, Ashley-sempai? Momoko as well."

"That would be wonderful," Ashley said with a smile. Staying in a village was starting to turn out for the better she had time to rest from weeks of constant travel and she was helping to build up the youth of this nation. Maybe she could even study more in her beliefs so the next time she encountered the immortal Hidan she would be able to talk to him without him trying to impale her on a stick or something else that was painful.

End Chapter Ten

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Hope you enjoyed, please review!


	11. The Adventures of Hidans Dispatched Soul

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

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Chapter Eleven - The Adventures of Hidan's Dispatched Soul

After the first day of following Kakuzu and screaming at him to pay attention to him Hidan finally succumbed to the fact that as a soul he could not communicate with his irritating and useless partner. It pissed Hidan off that he had been so thoroughly humiliated and beaten by some pretty boy demon and his pets. Kakuzu hadn't listened to the instructions of "the figment of a lingering genjutsu" but luckily had kept the gold staff that was needed to pull his soul back into his body. With Hidan's luck though his greedy bastard of a partner was planning on pawning it off for some cash since it was made of gold.

Just as he thought that a very bold merchant approached Kakuzu and offered to buy the staff for four thousand ryu. Kakuzu seemed to consider the offer for a moment before he shook his head in disagreement. Hidan felt relieved that Kakuzu hadn't agreed that was until Kakuzu growled, "Fifty-five thousand, no less."

_"What!?"_ Hidan shouted angrily, _"You greedy bastard heathen! I'll never get back together if you do that! My body will fucking stay empty and you guys will use me as for fucking live target practice!"_

More haggling ensued until Kakuzu finally sold the staff and the price he had demanded and happily went on his way, Hidan's zombie body following silently behind him. Meanwhile the soul of Hidan was torn between sticking with Kakuzu and his body or going with the merchant to keep track of the golden staff. It took him a minute but he finally decided that Kakuzu could keep his body from getting lost or something but he _needed_ to keep an eye on that staff.

So ensued a very boring week for Hidan as he followed the merchant around as he sold mostly fares of metal such as weapons, ornate knifes and of course the overlooked golden staff. He also carried clothing, toys and blank scrolls. Hidan alleviated his boredom by 'haunting' the merchant when he was trying to sell things, mostly by putting his disembodied hand through inanimate objects which made them vibrate and hum slightly and nobody wanted a vibrating sword. Well most civilians didn't anyway.

Hidan glanced in amusement at the odd group of ninja who where waiting for their teammate to oogle over weapons as she looked for one to add to her arsonal. There was a jounin and a chunin who looked very closely related, a white eyed long dark haired teen with an air of almost nobility around him and then there was the girl who was buying weapons who had her hair tied up into two buns. The golden staff had caught her attention mostly, even though it looked like a walking staff or something ornamental she could see the sharpened bottom edge and noted the ornate decoration on top of the staff had many sharp edges and hooks. It definitely was able to be used as a very bloody and efficient close ranged, long reaching weapon.

"How much is this one?" the girl asked eagerly as she pointed to the staff.

"Ah, that is a very fine piece miss, you have a good eye for quality. It would have gone for seven thousand in any other shop but I will gladly sell it to you for only six thousand."

"Fifty-five thousand," the girl immediately replied and Hidan burst out into laughter, it would serve the merchant right to come away with nothing for all the trouble he was going through to stick with the staff.

"Sixty thousand," the merchant stubbornly replied, not bending in the slightest.

"Fifty-five," the girl spoke with a glint entering her eyes before her white-eyed teammate sighed in exasperation and spoke up.

"Tenten, I'll buy it for you if you want it that much. It'll be a gift for entering the jounin exams next week."

"Neji, you didn't get me a present," the chunin boy cried out in distress, "I'm taking the test too remember!?"

Neji seemed to twitch as he finally pointed at a fluffy looking stuffed turtle and asked, "How much is that turtle?"

"Ten ryu," The merchant replied instantly.

"I will take the staff and the turtle at asking price. Here you go Tenten, Lee these are your Jounin exam gifts from me," Neji said calmly and handed over the gifts he bought for his friends before continuing, "Now can we pack up and return home?"

"Sure!" Tenten replied happily as she carefully caressed the golden staff while Lee tightly and happily hugged his new turtle. Hidan rolled his eyes and gladly departed with the bizarre group, happy to finally be done with the merchant. The group swiftly traveled to the south east and before the afternoon had passed Hidan was surprised to find himself at the entryway of Konoha.

_"Huh, didn't that bastard Itachi say that his tailed-beast was kept here or something?"_ Hidan mused out loud to himself as the four teammates split off into different directions, Hidan sticking close to the girl who had the gold staff. She went to her home and unpacked her mission supplies before she took the staff and walked over to one of the many training areas obviously planning on testing the staff out.

Hidan spent a boring two hours standing in front of the dummy that Tenten was using the staff against, pretending he was fighting and attacking the girl, _"One point, you're dead now. Two points, I impaled your kidney. Yes ten point bonus round for hitting the appendix!"_

And then the girl suddenly did something that caused a reaction she did not expect. She channeled chikara into her hands and as the energy entered the staff the staff suddenly glowed a burning white hot and Tenten dropped it with a yelp of pain but now activated the staff now pulled in energy from the surrounding environment before the energy build up suddenly exploded with such ferocity that Hidan's soul was actually flung from his position on the ground high into the air before he came crashing down four hundred feet away.

Voices where shouting and Tenten found herself the center of attention as several ninja found her laying beside a glassed crater though she was delirious and fighting a loosing battle with consciousness. As her eyes started to fade in and out of the darkness of conscience she could have sworn she saw a member of the Akatsuki boredy watching the crowds of ninja pass him without a care in the world on his face.

When Tenten woke up she was floating right next to her body in the hospital and in dread she asked out loud, _"Have I died?"_

She nearly jumped a yard into the air when a voice behind her spoke up saying, _"Hell no, bitch. You just knocked your soul out of your body with that staff. The fucking thing did it to me to only unlike you I was actually fighting someone and got impaled onto it."_

Tenten spun around and as she spotted the bored yet annoyed looking Hidan she yelped, _"Akatsuki!? How did you get into Konoha!? I'll defend my home with everything I am, jerkwad!"_

Hidan rolled his eyes and said, _"Listen bitch I know it's a little hard for your simple mind to understand what I've said so let me repeat this. Your fucking heathen soul was removed from your body when you energized that damned staff with chikara and now the only way you can get back in is if you can convince someone to prod you with the end of that staff. But no one can fucking hear souls around here so good luck with that option!"_

At that moment a small group of visitors entered the room and went over to where Tenten lay still on the bed. Tenten noticed that it was Neji, Lee, Hinata and Gai who stayed near while a woman she had never seen before lingered a little behind giving the visitors some space. The brunette girl nearly leaped out of her 'skin' when the Akatsuki member suddenly began to curse and bellow loudly towards the woman.

_"You stupid angel-bitch! If you hadn't taken care of that bastard guardian I wouldn't have had to go looking for a sacrifice! That fucking demon had no right to insult Jashin like that and because of __**you**__ I'm wandering around in my fucking disembodied soul loosing my sanity from the fucking tedium!!"_ If Hidan could have stabbed Ashley he would have but there was nothing that he did that made the girl pay attention to him.

Hinata approached Ashley timidly and with a small voice asked, "Will you please pray together with me Ashley-sempai? I-I would feel better if we prayed for her health."

Ashley smiled at the sweet girl and nodded her head muttering her prayer loud enough for Hidan and Tenten who were lingering near to overhear it, "Heavenly Father, You are aware of the struggle that Tenten is experiencing. You know the desire of my heart for her to be healed of this injury. I ask now for Your healing touch. I know that You are able. Give her soul restoration and peace as she overcomes this. Amen."

Hidan snorted and said, _"Che would you listen to that angel-bitch. She goes on about forgiveness of enemies and shit but only actually cares about people who are damned __**nice**__ to her. Its pretty useless you know angel-bitch. What will a few words do? If I were you bratty-bitch I wouldn't fall for her- what!?"_

Hidan seethed as Tenten seemed to glow and dissolve like particles of light, all of the parts of her soul funneling energetically back into her body. Tenten's eyes blearily opened and Hidan cursed in an enraged fit as the girl smiled and made a joke about supercharged energy staffs. He was alone again in a room filled with people and in a blind hot fury he blew out three table lamps and stormed into the hallway. Damn them for making it easy!

Tenten relaxed after the lamps blew out as she seemed to unconsciously feel Hidan's exit. She didn't exactly remember their verbal exchange because of the way her soul had been messily expelled from her body. But as she turned to look at the dark haired woman standing beside Hinata and suddenly said, "You need to pray for your enemy in the Akatsuki. Saying that you should pray for your enemies when you don't is hypocritical."

Ashley felt the weight of shame fill her and with a start realized this girl was absolutely right. She had been advocating praying and forgiveness for people's enemies but never once since had she actually prayed at all for her own ones. The woman nodded her head slightly and turned to leave the room and out to the hallway. :_God give me strength to pray for the ones who are not on my side. I forgave Ino for attacking me so please give me the strength to forgive Hidan for doing the same._:

Very suddenly Ashley's ears opened up and she heard cursing and shouting, _"-fuck Konoha! Kakuzu if I ever get my hands on you for selling that fucking staff I'm going to castrate you and __**feed**__ you to those hell cherubs the next time I see them!"_

Incredulously Ashley turned down the hall and with surprise spotted a very angry glowing apparition of Hidan marching angrily back and forth through a wall, "Hidan? Is that you?"

The angry Jashinite's head snapped over to where Ashley stood staring at him in shock and apprehension and he said, _"What the fuck angel-bitch? If you can see me then do something about getting me back into my body where I belong. Or are you just going to stare at me all day?"_

Ashley shook her head in disbelief and slight exasperation. A relatively normal life had once again been upturned by the arrival of Hidan. Wonderful.

End Chapter Eleven

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Hope you enjoyed, please review!


	12. Grin And Bear It or Smile And Change It

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

* * *

Chapter Twelve - Grin And Bear It or Smile And Change It

Ashley left the hospital with Hidan following close behind, explaining how he had ended up in his predicament, _"And then that bastard just laughed and mocked me saying "you couldn't stand up to the cherubs of hell let alone I the demon Athmmol or the mighty Father Below" well I attacked him which was pretty fucking awesome since I already was missing my arm but he used his demonic power of something fucking freaky and blew me into a fucking tree. After that he impaled that staff into me and pulled my soul out of my body which seriously fucking hurt more than __**anything**__ I've ever done before which is saying something. That bastard demon let those monsters rip me apart __before__ he left me there. And then that bastard Kakuzu sewed my body back together but the fucker __**sold**__ the fucking staff even after a fucking angel told him it would fix me. So I stuck around the staff and followed it here. So fucking do something about this angel-bitch."_

"Let me think," Ashley spoke out loud as she rubbed her forehead in slight worry, she had lived in Konoha for about two and a half weeks now and it was going really great. Everyone in Konoha was pretty much warm and friendly to her and she had met many new people, Shikamaru's friends and their teachers most of whom she got along splendidly with. Many people had really been moved by the Spirit of God and Ashley had found it amusing yet appropriate that the village with the biggest amount of people wanting to convert into Christianity was a hidden ninja village.

Unfortunately the message wasn't being spread anywhere else. All the ninja converts had important duties to preform and none could make side trips to deliver messages to any civilian villages and though Momoko had been granted a chance to leave she wasn't interested in traveling to places other than Fire Country, leaving the villages she had been to in Grass and Cloud uncovered, not to mention she still wanted to spread the word to more countries. Ashley was required to stay in Konoha at all times but for the past three days had gotten the right to go places without being escorted there. Ashley had listened to Hidan and felt bad for him because of her actions had somewhat caused his predicament.

"I will help you," Ashley said out loud and continued before Hidan could cut in, "This matter about the demon sounds pretty bad. Demons are dangerous to everyone who encounters them but back home they only appeared physically if people summoned them or if a person is granted by God to see them for a moment or two. The staff is being held in testing down in the labs but now that I have a description of it I will convince them that the staff is mine and that it was misplaced during my travels. I feel that God wants me traveling and spreading the Word of his Glory, not sitting around in one village for too long."

Hidan nodded his head and said _"Yeah that's great and all. After we get going I'll lead you to the hideout so that my body can be fixed. You just __have__ to listen to me when we get close or that freak Zetsu will send out everyone to attack you."_

"Don't talk to me while I'm getting the staff," Ashley spoke as they approached the building, "You're distracting and if they find me acting weird Madam Tsunade will not let me leave the village."

_"Ooh, distracting huh?"_ Hidan said with a mocking grin,_ "But seeing you escape from enraged leaf ninjas would be so funny, I would just fucking die to see that."_

Ashley simply glared at her annoying companion before making her way down the stairs until she reached a unmarked room and politely knocked on the closed door. A few moments later the door opened to reveal a dark haired woman with a serious looking expression, her eyes seemed to relax a moment when she saw Ashley but she stayed in the doorway and asked, "We are very busy in here, Miss. Delgado. Is there anything I can do to help you find something?"

"Miss. Kumadori," Ashley replied professionally in kind, "I have heard that you are performing tests on a golden staff and after hearing descriptions it feels very familiar to me. It is a staff that reacts negatively to chikara but infused with spiritual power it can defend against spiritual forces of evil. It is something created by God so that His servant or rather I, can defend against evil in this world. I lost it many weeks ago and hadn't any idea that it would show up again."

The woman paused for a moment before shouting something inside the room causing Ashley to hear Shizune reply something. The woman nodded and said, "You can come on in."

Hidan was shaking his head in disbelief as he followed in after Ashley, did these Konoha weaklings actually believe that such a powerful and dangerous weapon had once belonged to a civilian who had a God of love and peace? Now that sounded pretty pathetic. Hidan poked around the room for a little bit before he got bored and turned to look over towards Ashley so that he could annoy her in front of the researching ninjas. Ashley was holding the staff and there was an expression of serenity on her face as the top of the staff glowed a soft enchanting golden light. No explosions and no souls being ripped out of peoples bodies, so she could use the staff apparently.

The ninjas allowed Ashley to take the staff with her and she thanked them with a smile before she left the room and walked down another hallway again, _"Where are we going now angel-bitch?"_

"_I_ am going to go and figure out a way to convince Madam Tsunade that I need to leave the village _alone_. Did you know she still thinks there's a chance that I'm some sort of secret agent for your little red cloud organization? She won't like it if I leave but I need to convince her that I need to leave. If she found out I am actually _planning_ to go find your body to help you I'll be imprisoned either until she lets me out or God lets me out." Ashley took a deep breath and seemed to steel her nerves before she entered the office of the Hokage.

"Hello Ashley," Tsunade said cordially as she sat behind a desk stacked with paperwork, "How can I help you?"

"Madame Tsunade, I very much have appreciated your protection for Momoko and I from any members of the Akatsuki but as you recall out conversation a week ago I have a mission from God that overrides my own safety concerning that secret ninja organization that you seem are definitely planning on attacking me. I must leave though. I vow to you that I have no ill intentions towards anybody and if I am attacked or detained I will rest my safety in God's hands. I am still being held here as though I am under house arrest and I find it completely unethical to do so when _you know_ that I have no dealings with that organization. I've been reading a few law books and even though I am required to listen to your instructions while in Konoha you don't actually have jurisdiction over me since I'm not a ninja."

Tsunade sighed slightly and said, "You're right, I have control over the ninjas in this country while the Fire Lord has control over the civilians but nevertheless I can't just send you wandering around the country _alone_. There isn't just the Akatsuki, there are many powerful groups who could really harm you or try to use you do to your...uniqueness."

"The only people who know about that are the ninjas in this village and the Akatsuki who don't seem to me the kind of people who would _brag_ about encountering a non-ninja who had similar abilities as one of their elite."

_"Hey!"_ Hidan shouted indignantly in Ashley's ear, _"Our abilities are nothing alike angel-bitch! You don't know what you're talking about!"_

Tsunade watched as Ashley flinched and slightly concerned asked, "Are you feeling alright?"

Ashley gave a smile and said, "My ear just started to ring, nothing big or life threatening. Someone must be gossiping about me."

Tsunade went into deep thought for a few moments before speaking, "I will allow you to leave but under the request that whenever you enter a village you send us an update on your travels and please mention it if something weird had happened to you or if someone seems to be following you."

"You've got a deal Madame Tsunade," Ashley said with a grin, "I will begin to pack and expect to leave tomorrow morning. I won't be asking Momoko to come with me, she and Shikamaru can easily handle being the pastors here in the village. The two are a good teaching team, Momoko for practical application and Shikamaru for theology."

As they left Hidan began to whine, _"Why can't we leave today? I can't stand not having a body for so long. It's fucking boring."_

Ashley sighed and said, "Leaving right away would be rude. Plus it would look odd if I took off suddenly."

Hidan shrugged and just grumbled loudly as he followed behind Ashley, _"Well if it were you who was wandering around outside your body you would want to get fixed as soon as possible. Everything feels __weird__ when I'm floating around like this damn it. Those bastards are probably going to fucking feed my body to Zetsu."_

"Is Zetsu your guys pet or something?" Ashley asked and Hidan began to cackle in glee. Though it was teetering on the edges of insanity Ashley found it to be one of those contagious laughs and before she knew it the both of them were walking down the street laughing their hearts out. They approached her apartment and the two slipped into the room, Hidan finally had stopped laughing but Ashley was still fighting down giggles.

_"Why were you laughing with me? I didn't tell you what made what you said so fucking funny,"_ Hidan stated as he poked and snooped around the tiny one room apartment.

"Your laugh made me laugh," Ashley replied as she entered her tiny room to pack, still giggling slightly. Hidan followed her in and was surprised to see so much books and junk around the room.

_"How the hell did you manage to get all this crap in only two weeks? Women are fucking materialistic __weirdos__, seriously,"_ Hidan said as he peered at the titles of the books written in a language he could not comprehend, _"And what the fuck is this language? It looks so __weird.__"_

Ashley began to put the books on a blank edge of a scroll, the books disappearing one at a time as she lightly replied, "That's my home language. I've been spending the past two weeks translating God's Word into this language. It's pretty weird I guess and I've been doing it in sections so it's not completely finished but Eventually I'll finish it up."

_"Where the hell did you come from, angel-bitch seriously,"_ Hidan said as he glared at her from two feet away from her face, _"You're completely weird. You look different from anyone I've ever seen besides Zetsu and Kisame but they had their skin types changed because of forbidden techniques. Why the fuck would your God send someone who is so odd to fucking spread his word or whatever?"_

"I don't know," Ashley replied silently, "I thought once I died that would be it. But God has called me here and for all that he has done for me how could I refuse him. Not even _you_ would defy a direct request from God. Running from God and what his plans are is impossible. I for sure don't want to be a bad example like Jonah."

_"Who the fuck is Jonah?"_ Hidan sneered.

"A prophet of God who tried to run away from him. He was swallowed by a giant fish when he tried to cross the sea and it only spit him out three days later when he decided to repent and obey God's instructions," Ashley replied glancing around the room for anything else she needed before rolling up the scroll and packing it up ready for travel. She smiled at Hidan who was brooding in her doorway and said, "Well this won't be so bad. There's nothing to do now but wait for tomorrow."

Hidan shook his head in irritation and as he left to haunt the living room for a few hours muttered, _"Fucking weird angel-bitch."_

End Chapter Twelve

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Hope you enjoyed, please review!


	13. So Happy Together

God Modding

By Shironami Kane

Summery: A series of encounters between Hidan and an otherworldly displaced Christian begins to set the stage for a revelation of powers not built up by earthly forces but divine ones. Can two very different individuals with very different faiths change the world?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the series Naruto and am only using them for my own amusement, not monetary gain or anything.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen - So Happy Together

_"Angel-bitch, angel-bitch, angel-bitch. Hey angel-chan, angel-bitch-chan? I wanna go faster, c'mon c'mon! You're fucking slower than anyone I know angel-bitch,"_ Ashley and Hidan had been beyond the gates for only one day. By this time Hidan knew Kakuzu would have snapped at some point and attacked him for 'being annoying' but Ashley was still calmly walking along the road attempting to ignore his childish behavior.

_"This is boring angel-bitch. I hope all this walking around won't fucking mess up my soul __seriously__,"_ Hidan complained.

"Why don't you entertain yourself with a game then?" Ashley spoke as she looked around admiring the natural beauty around her. Walking everywhere certainly put a very unique perspective on the things she had taken for granted once, like cushy yet firm ground.

_"A game?"_ Hidan asked a glint of excitement reaching his eyes, _"I haven't played road games since my later days in the Brotherhood of Jashin, seriously. We always used to play odds and evens where we picked a gender or age and if the person who next passed you matched you got to kill them!"_

Ashley sighed and said, "Well since you don't have a body that game wouldn't work now would it? How about you play I spy. You go first since you wanted to play a game."

_"What the fuck is I Spy?"_ Hidan groused and Ashley sighed. Honestly when she met the Akatsuki and especially Kakuzu again she might just offer her condolences rather than fix Hidan, he could be such a brat.

"Like this, I spy with my eye something orange and now you have to find or guess what I see," she explained calmly.

_"Orange huh? That rock is kind of orange, is that it?"_ Hidan questioned.

"No, guess again," Ashley replied as she continued to walk down the road.

_"Fuck! Then uh, that butterfly? That bird?"_

"It was the bird," Ashley replied with an affirming nod causing Hidan to pump his fist in a gesture of glee.

_"Fuck yeah! I rock at this game! My turn. I spy with my eye something green."_ Ashley paused and stared at him incredulously. They were in the middle of a forest. Honestly it was the oldest trick in the book.

"A tree," Ashley said with a grin but it faltered when Hidan cackled and pranced ahead shouting _"Wrong! Guess again!"_

Ten minutes later Ashley still was going, "A june bug?"

_"Wrong,"_ Hidan said smugly as he kept pace ahead of her.

"A toad?" she offered only to hear a millisecond later Hidan crowing _"Wrong!"_ in her face. Ashley sighed somehow knowing she was going to regret doing it but pressed forward saying, "I don't know Hidan. You win because I give up."

_"Ha! It was your eyes __genius.__ How the fuck can someone forget what color eyes they have, seriously,"_ Hidan was cackling and feeling very proud of himself despite only beating Ashley in a childish game, every victory counted in his head. Ashley just let out an amused chuckle and continued to walk down the road. _"So, speaking of earlier, tell me where you are from and how the hell you got here anyway."_

Ashley gave a little smile, everyone she had met here eventually asked the question of where she came from and only a few had taken her words for truth instead of exaggerations. Since Hidan was somewhat religious though it wasn't what she advocated she decided to give him the detailed version of the story, "As you've obviously guessed I'm not actually from this world. I actually died in my old world I think and God sent me here. I don't know how it happened but God told me that somehow everyone in this world now has true souls."

_"That fucking demon said something like that as well. It said that I was a fucking __figment of an artist's __imagination__ and that all the people from our world were creations of a human!"_ Hidan growled, _"But that's fucking impossible, Kami built this world and Jashin is destined to end it so that fucking demon must have been insane."_

Ashley pursed her lips in deep thought before speaking up and saying, "I don't know about here but where I come from there are millions of 'worlds' created by people. Writers, movie makers and artists all build their own worlds and since God created man in his image maybe somehow a lesser version of the powers of creation rest within all men. Who knows maybe someones story became so real in the mind of the writer that it broke into real existence and God had to fix everything and send someone like me to give the people here hope that a God exists out there who can take care of the people. He might even be more lenient on everyone here since you all aren't actually descendants of Adam."

Hidan had a blank and bored expression on his face when Ashley finished her analysis and glanced over at him. There was even a hint of a sort of bored drool coming out of the corner of his mouth, in slight aggravation she marched over to him and said, "_This_ is why no one takes you seriously I think, you go on and on about your thoughts and ideals but completely shut out anything you can't stand to hear. Like the fact that your god might _actually_ be underpowered compared to my own."

Hidan rolled his eyes and said, _"Well if your fucking God wasn't such a pansy maybe I'd listen when you talked about him angel-bitch."_

"Pansy!?" Ashley incredulously hollered, "Why in the world would you think the sovereign God of the Universe is a pansy?"

_"Fuck, it was you who said it angel-bitch. That crap about loving your neighbor and being good to those who are evil that shit is so weak. No thanks I'd rather have a God who takes charge and destroys all the wickedness in the world through his followers. Peace and love without enacting fucking justice on those who have done evil in the sight of God is a fucking __**pansy's**__ way out."_

A light bulb seemed to click above Ashley's head and she suddenly said, "You've only heard me talk about the love and mercy of God and instead of embracing it you would rather hear about the justice and holiness of God? Fine. I can do that. Let me tell you a little bit about the beginning of my world and how God dealt with people in the _old days._"

For the next two days Ashley went on about God's vanquishing stories such as the plagues of Egypt, stories of Samson endowed with the physical strength to kill thousands of his enemies with a donkey's skull. She continues, telling of how God _hated_ sin and that all the sins of man _had_ to be atoned for but not even an eternity in hell would cleanse the crimes of humanity and so he sent his Son to bear the weight of the all encompassing wrath of God for all who believed. She went on to tell about how after dying God's Son came back to life and left to make an eternal home for his followers. Then the Revelation came, how one day the mercy and open invitation of God's mercy would end and all those who had rejected his teachings would be utterly destroyed in the coming age before being tossed into a sea of flames along with the Antichrist and all the fallen angels.

After Ashley was done with her tirade though she looked over at Hidan and asked, "So what about you? You want justice and vengeance so much why is it that you follow that Jashin of yours?"

Hidan looked off into the sky and seemed to actually consider what he was about to say before he seemed to nod to himself, _"Very well. I suppose I can fucking give you a few reasons. When I was real fucking little like not even old enough to go into ninja academy or anything like that my family were all priests and keepers of the faith of Kami. We lived just outside of Yugakure and it was a pretty sweet lifestyle and all. Well fuck one day while I was out my family was entirely massacred by a passing band of ninjas who were ordered to kill everyone they came across. "_

"Oh no, what happened," Ashley asked in horror and slight sympathy for her companion.

Hidan shrugged and continued his story, _"When I came home at first I was fucking upset but I went to the Elder priests of Kami and asked them if Kami would give my family divine retribution for the evil done against them. The fuckers said no. Kami is a God of Life they fucking said. Vengeance does not exist in the one who from all life springs forth. Of course I was a fucking orphan so I was pissed. I decided to leave the faith of Kami because the wankers there didn't believe that Kami would condone justice. Jashin is the God of death and divine judgment. I fucking joined the ranks of Yugakure while learning the teachings of Jashin in secret. When I was about I suppose I was sixteen or so I finally came across the Brotherhood of Jashin and when they found my spirit so willing we all agreed that I could ask Jashin for his most divine gift, that of immortality to eternally give judgment to everyone who practices evil in the world and like you've said angel-bitch. Everyone sins and so everyone must fucking die."_

"Well, I suppose I can understand now," Ashley said with a nod, "I won't push you to accept that mercy and love are still a part of a holy and just God but I hope you keep in mind that one attribute of my God does not cancel any of his other attributes. He is love and he is justice."

Needless to say, Hidan didn't call Ashley's God a pansy anymore and he now looked at the girl in a new light that he hadn't seen before. She was like him, passionate for God and following what she had been called for and so he decided when he got his body back he wouldn't actively hunt her down and share pain with her. She was sort of cool in a civilian weakling way.

Far away with Hidan's body propped up as a living test dummy for weapons and attacks Kakuzu paused and looked over from where the rest of the Akatsuki were gladly taking shots at the mentally closed of Hidan. "I have the most peculiar feeling that somewhere Hidan's soul had done something that will cause an apocalypse. Must be my imagination."

End Chapter Thirteen

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